The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day Forty Five

I have a huge struggle going on inside of me. Often times, I feel very inferior to others, like I'm some little idiot who doesn't deserve their respect. It's been like this for a long time, as long as I can remember and I don't know what to do to change it. I was asked to lead one of our Tuesday morning bible studies and I automatically defaulted to my no setting. Not because I don't want to, but because, for some reason, I always feel terribly insecure when I get up in front of people, especially my fellow Christians. I'm not supposed to, I'm supposed to feel the most comfortable around them. I know that no matter what walk of life someone comes from God loves them and can use them for His glory. My struggle isn't just confined to speaking, I feel inadequate and incapable in many walks of life, from my abilities at work to my abilities to be a husband and father to unfortunately, my abilities to serve my Lord and Savior. I always feel like I'm not good enough. I have prayed for God to take this from me, but for some reason unbeknown to me, He hasn't yet. I say yet because I know that He can and I have faith that He will, but He does all things in His time, not mine.
I have two children (one who could possibly read this) and I don't want them to be like me, at least, not in this respect. I want for them to be strong, independent, courageous people who won't let life beat them down at every chance, and it will if they let it. I want for them to have a faith, knowledge, and wisdom of their Creator, and to stand on, and rely on Him for everything. Now, the question is, how am I going to help them to build a confidence if I don't have it myself? I guess the main thing I can tell them is to be themselves. I have lived a lot of my life trying be like other people and failing miserably. When I should have been learning who I am, I was trying to be who I thought everybody else wanted me to be. The truth is, I'm quirky, nerdy, and a little goofy. If my children can embrace who they are, maybe they'll have that confidence and strength that I am trying to find and build on.