The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Four

It's time to renew our tags on the van and this year I want to get personalized tags. I want to use a scripture but I want to use just the right one. I've been a little nervous about putting anything referring to my faith in Jesus on our vehicle. Not because I'm ashamed of our Lord but because I'm more ashamed of myself. I don't want to get angry or do something foolish while riding around with scripture on our van. I've seen a lot of people riding around with Christian bumper stickers or cross magnets and they give people the finger or lay on their horns and scream and yell at them and I don't want to be one of them. Yet, at the same time, I do want to have something that would compel a person to dust off their bible and read it, if only to see what the scripture says. Also, riding around with a public display of God's word on our van might lead me to be on my best behavior, or at least keep me from being on my worst.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Three

For the past three days I've been trapping and relocating squirrels so they won't eat all of our tomatoes when they come in. When I see those squirrels in that trap it makes me think about people trapped in sin. I bait the trap with peanut butter which is irresistible to squirrels, Satan baited his trap with a forbidden fruit which he tricked our ancestors Adam and Eve into eating which caused us all to be born into sin. After the squirrel takes the bait the doors drop shut, trapping it and it jumps back and forth in the trap trying to get out and just wears it's self out. A person trapped in sin flails around in it for a while but then accepts it for normalcy and lives with it. The squirrel I caught yesterday didn't want to leave the cage when I tried to set it free, similarly, most people don't don't want to admit that they are caught up in sin and are content to just stay where they are. I had to poke at the cage with a stick to get the squirrel out and the Holy Spirit pokes at our hearts to get us to confess Jesus and let go of sin's bondage. The squirrel took off running into it's new home, never looking back at that trap that it came out of. A sinner (if they choose) accepts the gift of freedom and eternal life by confessing Jesus and being baptized, never to look back at that trap of sin we once called home.
I'm so grateful to be free from that trap and I want so desperately for everyone who's still caught to look to that open door which is Jesus and go through Him into their new, free home.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Two

This is another Tuesday and you know what that means. That's right, another Tuesday morning bible study and this one was great! We had a guest speaker who was a breath of fresh air. He spoke about what the United States was founded upon, and how we've gotten so far from where the founding fathers intended on us being. The U.S. was founded by people who had a deep respect and reverence for God.
The first amendment to the constitution says that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. That doesn't mean that we are free from God, it means that the government can't establish a national religion. He brought up the fact that we have elected these activist judges and politicians who have slowly taken away the freedom of the Church and we as Christians are too busy fighting each other about theology and who's way of worship is the right way to even realize that we're in a nation that's in a terrible social decline. Instead of being guided by God's word, we're just doing what feels right. In fact, many Christians don't even know what God's word even says about much of anything.
We're doing everything that Rome did and we know what happened there. I'm only thirty eight years old and I see a huge difference in society now from when I was growing up and it's only going to worsen unless we (Christians) do something about it. There are almost as many Christians who don't vote as there are that do. So, who is the blame for the sad state that our beloved USA is finding herself in. It's not the secularists, they're only doing what think is right; it's almost as if they don't know any better. No, it's the fault of the divided, failing Church.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty One

I was really looking forward to watching a history channel movie that has been advertized for months now. Well, I watched twenty minutes of it and had to turn it off! In twenty minutes Gods name was used in vein twice and there were countless curse words. I get so tired of having to turn off movies because people can't make them without this kind of language.
I don't have a perfectly clean mouth, in fact I slip up and curse more than I'd like to admit, but it makes me cringe when I hear Gods name being used in vein. I just don't understand why everybody, everywhere feels like it's necessary to say GD or OMG and why you can't get a movie without it unless it's a cartoon or a documentary. Yes, I know there are Christian films and some of them are great, but a lot of them are pretty cheesy.
As disappointed as I am about having to turn off the movie, I'm glad that it made me feel uncomfortable enough to do it. That means that the Holy Spirit is stirring me and I'm listening for a change.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty

Sometimes I wonder what the point of doing this is. Often times I'm so tired when it's time to write that I don't really want to do it, tonight's one of those nights. In fact, I just feel like quitting this all together but I won't. I can't, I have to keep going until I've done this for a full year. It's hard. I feel as if I'm failing our Lord and not growing at all but shrinking instead. I feel like I'm the biggest hypocrite that ever walked the face of the earth, I can't seem to be able to do what I want and need to do and I can't seem to stop doing what I don't want to do. I feel as if I'm a great big ole failure.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Nine

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
Anybody who doesn't believe this has set them self up to be devoured already. There is a devil and he will do anything he can to take us out of the Fathers hand. He will lie, he will take, and, worst of all, he will give. I say worst of all because he knows what all of our weaknesses are and he will give us whatever we want to make us willfully leave God. He'll give money to a poor man, fame to an outcast, and a "lover" to someone who's lonely. It doesn't matter what it is, if it will get in the way of a relationship with the all mighty God he will offer it to us and make it easily attainable. If we don't stay in the word and in prayer we are as good as done for. Temptation is around every corner and if we don't keep a clear mind that's focused on Jesus we will fall for it. The wonderful thing is that no matter how many times we fall, (and I sure do fall, a lot) Jesus will pick us up and dust us off if we will just humble ourselves and ask.

The life and trials of a growing Christian -Day One Hundred Forty Eight

This morning, when I got to work, I opened the door to my walk-in freezer and found that one of the night crew guys had put their soda in there and spilled it all over the floor and left the frozen mess all over the place. I became very angry and yelled and cussed like some maniac or something. I asked the night manager if he knew anything about it and continued to act like a fool for a few more minutes. He understood my anger and found the person who made the mess and had him scrape it up. When I saw him cleaning the mess I apologized to him for losing my temper and helped him clean it up. I also apologized to another one of the night guys and explained that I very rarely talk like that. He said "It's no big deal, you're a Christian aren't you?" All I could say was "I'm trying." He shook my hand and said "that's cool."
I was so ashamed by the way I acted and I couldn't understand how he could even see that I'm a Christian. Then it dawned on me, it wasn't the asinine way I acted but the guilt that I had for acting like that and the need to immediately apologize for it that showed him that I'm a Christian. I'm not proud of my actions in any way but I am glad that through my failure Jesus was given praise.
I guess this proves once again that God can take something bad and use it for His glory.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Seven

 My heart just doesn't feel as if it's being stirred to write anything. Today wasn't bad by any means, I just didn't have any deep spiritual experiences or thoughts. I can however say that our Lord has provided me with food, shelter, clothing, and a job! Praise the Lord! I can also say that He has blessed me with the love of my wife, two children, mother, and even some loving in-laws! Not to many people can say that! I'm not rich with wealth but my cup still runs over. All of my needs are met just like Jesus said. Mathew 6:31 "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."
Thank You God! AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Six

I wasn't going to write much this evening but I checked my facebook page right before I started and I saw something beautiful. A woman I used to go to school with recently lost her mother to cancer and she posted a picture of her memorial stone with the explanation that her mother didn't want her final resting place to be about her, but rather, Him. The stone read: She heard the call "come follow", that was all. Earth's joys grew dim, her soul went after Him. She rose and followed, that was all. Will you not follow if you hear the call?  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
That is such a powerful, selfless witness that will live on as long as that stone will last. Who knows how many people that it could impact? Like I said, it's beautiful.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Five

Tonight, at revival, the preacher talked about the parable of the good Samaritan found in Luke 10:25- 37. We all know the story; a Jew was traveling to Jerusalem and he was robbed of his clothing and beaten up really badly. A priest passed by, and then a Levite and neither did anything. But then a Samaritan (who Jews hated) came across him and poured wine on his injuries and put him on his own donkey and took him to an inn and promised to cover whatever the charges would be to take care of him. The preacher then began to explain that the equivalency to the Levite  would be a Christian and of course the priest would be equivalent to a preacher.
If somebody had beaten me up and stolen my cloths and left me for dead and a preacher and a fellow Christian looked at me and passed me by I would be terribly hurt. But then, if somebody who I swore to hate showed me such compassion and mercy, I think I would have to change the way I look at things.
Then the preacher asked "How many people who are in need are you going to pass on the way home tonight?" It cut through me like a knife. Then he asked "Who are you putting in a box?" Meaning, who am I harboring judgement over, or who am I making into a Samaritan? That also cut through me like a knife. You see, I have judged plenty of people and I have put myself above plenty of people. That means that I'm no better than the Levite or the the priest.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Four

Today at work I kept thinking about a couple verses in Mathew and trying to figure out something pertaining to how many of us, including myself worship. These are the verses; Mathew 6:5 "And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
So, my area of  concern is this; why do we pray out loud at church? At my church, and I'm sure at many others,  people (including me) are often called upon to pray aloud. A lot of times I feel as if I'm being a hypocrite when I do because of these verses. A lot of times you can hear the insincerity in peoples prayers, almost as if they're just trying to get through it, other times people seem to ramble on and on as if they feel that the more they pray, the better it makes them look. If you hear the same people pray aloud enough you notice that they tend to pray the same prayer or a slightly different version of it over and over again. So, if this is the case, why do we do it? Doesn't Jesus say not to?

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Three

I have a confession to make. After almost six years of marriage I still don't quite understand my wife. I love her more than life it's self but I still can't seem to completely understand her. I'm not saying that we aren't getting along or anything like that, I'm just saying that she sees things differently than I do. Things upset her that don't upset me and, likewise, things upset me that don't upset her. She also sees a lot of things that I don't. I guess she has a much better eye for detail than I do. God knew exactly what He was doing when He put us, two exact opposites, together.
I probably won't ever completely understand my lovely bride and she probably won't ever completely understand me but I'm so grateful that God has given us the opportunity to learn what makes each other tick. I love her so much that words haven't been invented yet to explain it. Thank You God for my best friend, my confidant, my helper, the person who corrects me when I'm wrong but doesn't hold it against me (often, I'm wrong a lot), my wife.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Two

Tomorrow is our church homecoming and more importantly the start of revival. I know this sounds bad but the homecoming I could really do without. It's just the birthday celebration of our church where there's music and over eating and a bunch of people that we only see when they are being fed show up and tell us how much they love us (wink, wink) and miss us, then they leave only to be seen again at the next over eating party. I guess the theory about these big over eating events is that somebody new will come, maybe even somebody who doesn't know Jesus, and they will decide to give our church a try. I haven't seen it yet but anything's possible. I know, I have a bad attitude about these big gatherings but I see people talk about each other one minute and then smile and hug each other the next while asking how their families are doing. Anyhow, as fun as it is to gripe about homecoming I'm going to stop and talk about the other half of the day, the part that I really need. REVIVAL! Revival is when we have a guest preacher preach Sunday morning and then Monday through Wednesday evening. I love it. Unfortunately, I have to miss Sunday morning but I'm very hopeful that I'll make the remaining three evenings. Usually we have a preacher who isn't afraid to "step on our toes" and I hope this time it isn't any different. We all need to be told the truth about ourselves so we can see our errors and where we're lacking so we can repent and ask forgiveness. We need to be refreshed in our walk and built up in our faith. It's not that our normal preacher can't do that, but sometimes it takes a complete stranger, someone who doesn't know anything about anyone there to set us straight. I could probably use a good preachin at every day of my disobedient life. It sure couldn't hurt anyhow.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty One

Tonight is much like last night.... I really just don't have much to say. I'm tired and I just want to go to bed. I'm thankful for the day that God has given me and I'm happy to bring it to a close.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty

I don't know what to write tonight. I don't feel as if I'm being led in any direction whatsoever. I know that God hears my prayers when I ask for His direction and He always gives me a path to go down but it doesn't seem that way tonight.
Sometimes I feel like He's so far from me that He can hardly see or hear me, or maybe He's just got His back turned to me. I know that neither is the case but that's just how it feels sometimes. I guess I just can't sit in my Father's lap all the time. Sometimes I have to get up and walk on my own. How I walk and where I go is up to me and maybe He let's me feel like He's not with me to show just how badly I need Him.
I need You God! In every aspect of my life, I need You! Please show me Your will for me. Show me what You want for me to do for Your kingdom. Show me what my spiritual gifts are and how to use them for Your glory. Please give me more of a desire to serve others and to be kind to others- to have an understanding of their needs and feelings instead of being wrapped up in myself. In Jesus name, AMEN!  

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Nine

At work today I was able to talk to a coworker about the Lord. She said she's a Christian and that she thinks we're in the end times. She said that she hopes we're in the end times. I couldn't help but to ask her if it matters. If we are in Christ it doesn't matter if we're in the end times or not. We're going to be with Jesus whether He comes for us or whether we die and go to Him, it's just that simple. The main thing we need to worry about is sharing the gospel. Jesus said in Mathew 9:37 Then He said to the disciples, "The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. 38 Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."
The harvest is the multitudes of people who are ready to come to Jesus, if He is presented to them. And the laborers? We are those laborers! What does a farmer do when his crop is ready to harvest? He brings in the harvesters (the laborers) and they don't stop working until the field has been picked clean. We also can't stop working until everyone has had the chance to come to Christ.
I'm lacking in this. I try, but I can honestly say that I don't try hard enough. If I spent as much time working on the harvest for Jesus as I do working in my own garden there's no telling what could be accomplished. I have the sneaking suspicion that many others are in the same boat as me. One way or the other we are going to be judged the King of kings, let's harvest His fields until they are picked clean!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Eight

Today Samuel and I went out and fertilized our garden and when we were done, I had him kneel down with me in the back yard and thank God for our garden and to ask Him to send rain. The TV weatherman had been calling for rain all day, hence the reason we fertilized (I don't want our plants to get burned up from fertilizer with no rain). So, I had a pretty good idea that it would rain, but you never know. I wanted Samuel to see his prayer answered and then take the opportunity to teach him about God's faithfulness. Jesus said in John 14:14 "If you ask anything in my name, I will do it."
I pray with Samuel every night, every time we eat, when we plant in the garden and whenever else I feel it's appropriate. Well, a few hours later, it began to thunder, lightning, and rain! I grabbed Samuel, opened the back door, and showed him the rain. I told him that God had heard our prayer and sent the rain. I told him to thank the Lord and he did. He looked out at the rain and shouted " Pyaise da Yord" with a big smile on his little face. I was so happy to hear him say it that it put a big lump in my throat. I want so desperately for him to have a strong faith and conviction in God. I want him to want to serve the Lord with everything that he is and I'm trying to do everything I can to fertilize and build him up in the Lord.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Seven

Yesterday, in my morning prayers I asked God to allow me to help somebody in His name every day. Today, my wife looked out the window and asked "who are those people out there?" I looked out front door and noticed that it was a whole family, stuck on our road with a flat tire. Before I had a chance to think I was down there helping them. We got the tire off and found out that the spare was flat too. So, I took one of them to a used tire store that was closed. Thank God that the man next door owned it and was able to sell him a tire (for a little less than he usually does because money was an issue), but he couldn't put it on the rim, so we called a tire store down the road who was just about to close and they put the tire on the rim for a third of what they usually do it for! The young man that I was helping was so happy that he gave me the ten dollars he had left (which was like getting a hundred because our bank account is at about two dollars). On the way back to put the tire on his car I gave him my testimony, it's really easy to talk about the Lord when you have a captive audience. After we put the tire on the car he slapped me five and hugged me and his family and him thanked me and left.
I'm not telling this to get any glory or praise from man, but to give glory and praise to our Heavenly Father. Jesus said that if we help somebody we are helping Him, and likewise, if we don't help people we are denying help to Him. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve my Lord and hope to see and respond to many, many more chances to serve.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Six

I've been wondering what the proper age of baptism is. I have two children, ages seventeen and three. I'm sure that if my daughter, the seventeen year old, decided to be baptized it would be fine. But I have heard of a lot of children being baptized at the age of six or nine or twelve and it just seems really premature. Baptism is a very serious thing for somebody to do and I don't think that parents should take or allow their children to take it lightly. A child, even a child who has been raised in a Christian home doesn't quite understand sin and the need to be forgiven of it at such an early age. They also feel the need to please their Christian parents or grandparents and do it for the wrong reason. If a child knows that getting baptized will please their family and make them proud, they are very likely to do it for the praise and not because of the work of the Holy Spirit in them. Then they get a little older and and want to quit on God, the church and everything that is associated with them. So, I still can't give a proper age for baptism but I certainly don't think that it should be before puberty.
The next thing I wanted to bring up is parents who think it's cute and harmless to let their children take part in communion. It is not cute or harmless! It makes a mockery of the communion of the saints. If a person is not saved and baptized or they feel that their heart isn't right with God they are doing it in vein. 1 Corinthians 12:27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manor will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manor eats and drinks judgement to himself, not discerning the Lords body. 
I can't proclaim to know much but a child doesn't understand the depth of spirituality involved in taking communion. Now, since a child is young and ignorant of this sin it's up to us not to let them partake. I think that if we don't we are just heaping sin upon ourselves.

The life and trials of a growing Cheistian - Day One Hundred Thirty Five

Today has been a long day and I really don't have much to write about so instead of trying to force something I'll just write a few of my favorite verses. John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the Life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
These five verses prove the deity of Jesus. If you can believe this, than the rest of the new testament shouldn't be a problem.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Four

I feel pretty guilty about something. I didn't set aside any money for my tithe last week or this week. All of our money has gone to mortgage, bills, gas, and groceries. I let us get behind last month and we can't seem to dig out. I feel really lousy about this; especially since, about a month ago, I wrote about tithing even though we were short. I don't know what happened, and how I got so weak but I did and now I feel like pond scum. Before last week, we hadn't missed paying our tithe since we started. The plan is to make it up at the end of the month and next month since we have an extra Friday. I just hope that we can stick to it...

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Three

Today was a good day, with the rain that came yesterday I was able to pull weeds out of our softened garden. It got me to thinking about what Jesus said about those who don't worship Him. He was explaining a parable that He had earlier told a multitude of people from a boat. In that parable He talked about a man who sowed good seed in his field but when he went to sleep his enemies came and planted tares which are weeds that are good for nothing. The man's servants asked if he wanted them to pull up the weeds but he said to wait until the harvest so that the wheat wouldn't be disturbed by the pulling of the weeds. Then the weeds were to be separated and burned. The scripture with this parable was Mathew 13:24-30 but the scripture that I was reminded of was Mathew 13:40 "Therefore as the tares are gathered and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of this age."
Previously, in 38, Jesus said that the tares represented the sons of the wicked one. Anyone who doesn't worship Jesus in this life will be thrown into the fires of hell. It doesn't get any simpler than this. Either confess Jesus now and be gathered unto Him in the next life or deny Him now, but confess Him in the next life when He is turning His back to you and you are burning like those worthless weeds. The choice is yours.....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Two

A couple years ago one of my friends told me not to get "too Christian." I'm still trying to figure out what that actually means. I also hear people being described as "radical Christians" and again, I can't seem to understand what it means. Does the mainstream dictate how Christian a person should be? Is a person who goes to church more than once a week "too Christian"? Is someone who prays whenever the urge strikes "radical"? I don't think so. Jesus doesn't want part of us, He wants all of us. If the goal of a Christian is to be more Christ like with each passing day, I don't understand how someone could possibly be "too Christian". A tree grows and grows for years but the moment it stops growing it starts dieing. The same can be said for a Christian who isn't "radical". The moment they stop studying and learning and trying to be Christ like, they start dieing. If someone wants to call me "too Christian" I welcome it and respond by saying I'm not Christian enough.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty One

I listen to AFR (American Family Radio) most of the time while I'm in the van and for the past couple weeks they've been playing a soundbite of Penn from the comedy duo Penn and Teller. Mr. Penn is a devout atheist and in the soundbite he says that if he could see that a speeding bus was coming to hit someone, that at some point he would have to tell them, and then move them (if they didn't listen) out of harms way. This was very profound, especially coming from an atheist. Obviously he was comparing the bus to hell and pushing the person out of the way to sharing Christ.
That's exactly what we as Christians are lacking in. If we truly believe what we say we believe why don't we share it whatever the cost? There is no answer that can justify not sharing Him. Jesus is the Savior of the world, the only Savior, the only way to escape spending eternity in hell. If a person dies and they don't know Jesus as their Savior, they are going to hell. So why am I not shouting it from the rooftops? Why am I not telling everyone, and I mean everyone who I come into contact with about Jesus? I couldn't even come close to giving an answer to that question. All I know is that by not screaming BUS at the top of my lungs I'm responsible for someone's eternal damnation.
Sharing Jesus is the most important thing we can do but how do I do it? I can't just go up to an unbeliever and shake them until they believe. I also can't decide who deserves salvation and who doesn't. God's word says that He's not willing that any should parish, but that all should come to Christ. ALL!
As I'm reading over this I find that my own words are convicting me. I haven't done much to bring anyone to Jesus at all. Dear God please forgive me. Please change me and please help me to serve You wholeheartedly. Please help me to share Your word and truth with ALL who I come into contact with. Help me, Lord, to be a fearless servant. In Jesus sweet name, AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty

All day today I've been thinking about yesterday's post. I don't want anyone to think that I'm bitter or holding a grudge because I'm not, at least I don't think I am. Since I've started doing this blog, all kinds of memories have started coming back into my mind. Things that I thought didn't amount to a hill of beans are bringing forth all kinds of feelings that I didn't even know I had. I don't know if I'm going through some kind of crazy early midlife crisis or if I'm just going through my closet and dealing with all of those skeletons that I never properly put to rest. The important thing is that I deal with them, how ever hard it is and move on.
I brought up my mother last night and now that I look back on what I wrote I realize that I forgot one thing; a very important thing and that is that I forgive her and I love her. I also brought up my ex-wife. While I hate the fact that I haven't been able to raise my daughter I can say that I probably couldn't have done any better, in fact I probably would have done a lot worse considering the lifestyle that I used to lead. I forgive her also, and I realize that she didn't do what she did to hurt me but she did it because she thought that it was best for our daughter.
There's no telling what might come to my mind in the future and there's no telling how it'll make me feel but I'm confident that it's all part of God's plan to free me and make me a better man and servant for Him.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Nine

Today, while I was working, I had a few thoughts. I don't want to offend or hurt anybody in my family, and I know they will read this but I kind of feel that I have to write it anyway. My thoughts were this... Why is it that good memories seem to fade like the day turning into night but bad memories burn in like a white hot nail into a dry piece of wood? Here's where it's probably going to get a little hairy; I'm going to give a couple examples and hope that nobody takes offense because there is no malice or ill will intended.
I can't seem to remember a whole lot of really great times with my parents, but I know I did have them. I know that my mom loves me very much and she regrets this happening, but I used to spend a lot of Friday nights at a bar with her and my dad. At first it would be OK, I would eat maraschino cherries and those little orange slices like crazy, and I would play the jukebox with handfuls of quarters that they and their friends would give me. But that was only fun for so long. I remember getting bored and lonely, and asking and begging to go home but the more I begged, the longer they stayed and the drunker they got. I hated it. I saw quite a few drunken fights between them, and it was pretty scary sometimes. As much as I hated this experience, I did the same thing to my daughter, and I'm very ashamed of it.
Another thing that seems to fade with time is the memory of the births of my children. I used to be able to recall every minute, infinitesimal detail of their births, but now I just remember the basics. I can, however, tell you exactly what happened the new years eve night that I had to give my daughter to my ex-wife. She had filed for custody in the state of Kansas and had come to Virginia to get Megan. I kept her at bay for a while but eventually I was given the choice of riding up to the gate and handing Megan over or having the police and social services removing her and taking her to my ex-wife. I chose to take her myself and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Maybe it's just the way I am. I might be stuck looking at how empty my glass is instead of how full it is. It might just be normal to remember what hurts better than what feels good, I don't know but I wish it were the other way around.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Eight

Today was a pretty uneventful day. I went to work, came home and worked in the garden, and made dinner. I didn't do anything special and nothing special happened to me. We did, however, get some rain which I am very grateful to our Lord for. This has just been a very plain day, but a plain day is better than a bad day and it allows me to appreciate the great days. Any day to be alive is a day worth praising God for, so, to God be all glory! AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Seven

I just heard on the news that the ACLU is trying to get a school in Giles county Va to remove a picture of the ten commandments from their wall. They are representing one student who says they are offended by it. One student out of an entire school? This is absolutely ridiculous! Things like this are happening all over the country and it just doesn't make any sense! How can one person have so much power? Or is it that it's because the Ten Commandments are representative of the Judeo-Christian faith? If a Christian has a problem with, or is offended by something, we are told to deal with it or it's just the way that it is. How is it that this blatant disregard for Christians and Jews can be allowed and even celebrated but if a Christian or Jew speaks out about being offended about something we're just labeled as bigots or zealots?  I just don't understand....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Six

Today in the United States is the National Day of Prayer. This is a day when we, as a nation, are supposed to humble ourselves before God and give Him all thanks, praise, honor, and Glory. Today, we are supposed to forget all differences and unite in reverence to our God. My family and I went to a gathering this evening at the Ashland Town Hall and did just that with about two hundred or so others who love the Lord. There were a few bands and preachers running it, but what really impressed me was that the Ashland Chief of Police and a Virginia General Assemblyman were there and participating as well. I know that it doesn't sound like a big deal but in a time when people are starting to look down on Christians, their public display of faith is like a breath of fresh air.
I was very happy to be outside, publicly praying and praising God. My only wish is that it didn't happen just once a year, but that a public display of faith would again be something that everybody did all the time, everywhere! I hope and pray that the United States will once again turn to the Lord our God and confess that we are sinful and need Him, and that we will turn from our wickedness and serve Him as a nation. I believe that 9/11 was a wake up call and we started to turn back to Him but we've quickly forgotten our way and gotten worse than we were to begin with.
Dear God, thank You for the blessing of freedom. Thank You that we, as a nation, are still so very blessed. I confess to You, Lord, that we are guilty of turning away from You and worshiping our selves and glorifying our wealth and abundance which You have given us. I pray that You will help us to turn back to You and to quit the practice of worshiping created things instead of You, the Creator. I pray that You will forgive us for the millions of babies that we have killed out of our own greed and that You would weigh heavily on our hearts, that we would stop immediately. In Jesus name, AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Five

I've had a nagging feeling all day. One that I can't seem to fight or dismiss. I got into an argument with my mother a few days ago, to be more specific, it was an argument about this blog. I haven't spoken to her in three days and I feel really bad about it. We usually talk on the phone every night, even if it's just to say hi, I'm OK, goodbye but neither one of us has made an attempt to contact the other. I hate it. I'm torn between writing what I really feel I need to write, and honoring my mother. I want so desperately to write a few things that would be like taking off a thousand pound backpack but it would probably cause more strife between us. At least, for a little while. If writing this blog is supposed to make me grow as a Christian I need to be free to write it. I used to be one of those people who thought that what happened in someone's past had nothing to do with the way they spend their present and future but I might have to revise that thinking a little. My favorite saying used to be "Suck it up sissy" and sometimes I still think that, but I'm also starting to think that the past needs to be worked through; at least, brought up and then put to rest.
I love my mother very much and I want to resolve this. I hate not being on good terms with her, but I really feel the need to continue with trying to grow so I can become the husband, father, son, and man that God is leading me to be. I guess I know what to pray about don't I?

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Four

Today is Tuesday so you know what that means. I got to go to my Tuesday morning bible study which is almost always great. Today was no different we read John 17, the real Lord's prayer. I say that because Luke 11:2-4 which is what people attribute to being the Lord's prayer is an example of how to pray and not a prayer. But John 17, this is Jesus praying His heart out. He prayed for Himself, His disciples, and all believers, and although He was the one facing death, He spent four times the amount of time praying for others than Himself. He gave of Himself all the way unto death. I'm so grateful to have been given the privilege to be His!