All day today I've been thinking about yesterday's post. I don't want anyone to think that I'm bitter or holding a grudge because I'm not, at least I don't think I am. Since I've started doing this blog, all kinds of memories have started coming back into my mind. Things that I thought didn't amount to a hill of beans are bringing forth all kinds of feelings that I didn't even know I had. I don't know if I'm going through some kind of crazy early midlife crisis or if I'm just going through my closet and dealing with all of those skeletons that I never properly put to rest. The important thing is that I deal with them, how ever hard it is and move on.
I brought up my mother last night and now that I look back on what I wrote I realize that I forgot one thing; a very important thing and that is that I forgive her and I love her. I also brought up my ex-wife. While I hate the fact that I haven't been able to raise my daughter I can say that I probably couldn't have done any better, in fact I probably would have done a lot worse considering the lifestyle that I used to lead. I forgive her also, and I realize that she didn't do what she did to hurt me but she did it because she thought that it was best for our daughter.
There's no telling what might come to my mind in the future and there's no telling how it'll make me feel but I'm confident that it's all part of God's plan to free me and make me a better man and servant for Him.
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