The life and trials of a growing Christian - The Last One

As the title says, this will be the last of this series (if I can call it a series). I had set out to write something every day for a year, in fact, I felt, and still feel that God put it on my heart to do so. I wrote every day for almost half a year and in that half a year something happened; Writing turned from a privilege to a chore. It turned from something that I wanted to do into something that I had to do and reflected it at times. So, I believe that God just took it from me. We had a tremendous thunderstorm with winds that gusted in excess of eighty miles an hour and some pretty bad lightning which fried the internal something or other wire in our computer causing us to have no internet access for a week. (Thankfully the cable company was able to bypass it and make us wireless.) God knew that I was just halfheartedly writing on some evenings and that I felt as if I were chained to this blog but I wouldn't give up so He just pulled the plug for me.
Before anyone thinks that this is just a cop-out please consider that God wants and deserves our best and He also wants us to give cheerfully. Giving isn't always a financial thing, in fact I dare say that money is what the Lord our God wants the least. He wants us to willingly, freely, and cheerfully give of ourselves. I didn't always give Him my best and I certainly didn't always give cheerfully so I believe that instead of accepting my leftovers He just cut me loose of the obligation. I'm saddened that I wasn't able to keep going but I'm also relieved and now I will only write when I have something on my heart and therefore give our Lord the best I have.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy Eight

I was going to write about my wife and I celebrating our sixth anniversary today  (I'm very happy and blessed to have her as my wife) but while writing I heard a very disturbing story on the news and I have to share it. A social worker found a ten year old girl locked in a closet and severally malnourished. They went on to say that they found her by tracing the strong smell of urine which led them to the locked closet. They said that she only weighed thirty eight pounds and was wearing a 2T t-shirt. For anybody who doesn't have children let me put this into perspective, my three and a half year old son weighs that or more and wears a 4T t-shirt. One of the neighbors said that the little girl was in the fetal position, clinging to the social worker and that her little legs were so skinny and bony that it brought her to tears. I'm having a hard time writing this because I can't fathom why or how somebody could do something like that to a dog, let alone a child. The
most ironic, horrible detail that I've left out is that the mother was out eating with the girl's other two siblings.
How in the world could somebody treat anybody like that? Especially their own flesh and blood? This sick, disgusting world is worsening and worsening with every new day. It breaks my heart to think about how depraved people are getting and what new evils they will invent for no apparent reason other than some kind of sick, hateful amusement. Romans 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting.  
This is the only thing that I can think of which could possibly explain the behavior of this little girl's mother and all the others in this world who are just plain evil.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy Seven

Tomorrow, if I wake up on time, I will be able to go to Sunday morning worship service for the second consecutive Sunday. That's not a big deal to some people but it's huge to me. For over two years now I haven't been able to go to church on Sunday mornings due to work but now... Now, since my delivery schedule has changed, I am able to go in and work five hours and go directly to church. (I always have to have a short day because I always stay over on delivery days.)
 I don't know if anyone read what I wrote two weeks ago but I was upset that my delivery schedule had changed and I wasn't going to be able to go to the Tuesday morning bible study that I always attended as well as (I thought) missing Sunday mornings but I have been pleasantly surprised. I believe that this happened  because God heard my prayers and answered favorably!
Before Sunday mornings were taken away from me I kind of took them for granted. I didn't always go to worship with the right attitude. Maybe God allowed me to get taken away from it to teach me a lesson. Maybe He wanted me to truly long to be in the house of the Lord before allowing me to go. Whatever the reason I am grateful to be able to attend and want nothing more than to worship and praise my Lord, Jesus.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy Seven

I know that I write a lot of things about working in my yard and garden but it's just about all I do this time of year, that said, I have two things that I'd like to mention that happened in the yard/garden that led me to think about the Lord. The first happened a few times this week. While I was outside planting blueberries my three and a half year old son decided that he was going to throw handfuls of loose,dry dirt into the air which was like dust landing all over our heads and shoulders. It reminded me of Joshua 7:6 Then Joshua tore his cloths, and fell to the earth on his face before the ark of the Lord until evening, he and the elders of Israel; and they put dust on their heads.
This, of course was when the Israelites were defeated in Ai for not listening to the Lord. I'm so glad that Jesus did what He did on the cross, forgiving all who would repent and be baptized once and for all. I don't have to throw dust in the air and sit in sackcloth and ashes every time I sin. That doesn't, however, mean that when I realize I'm guilty of sin that I shouldn't confess it to Him and repent of it.
The second was this evening when I was pulling up the beans to make room for cantaloupes. Seeing those plants come out of the ground roots and all reminded me of what John the baptist said in Mathew 3:10 "And even now the ax is laid to the root of the trees. Therefore every tree which does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."
He was telling about Jesus coming and what will happen to those who don't accept Him. We all have a chance to accept Jesus and bear good fruit for Him but if we don't.... We too will be like those unfruitful trees; only the fire we will see will last for eternity.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy Five

Last night I wrote about wanting to have a better prayer life. This morning I woke up (if you can call it waking up, I hardly slept) pretty close to time for work and prayed while getting ready for work. That's not what I wanted to do. I said that I want to talk with the Lord but this morning it was as if I walked by Him on the street, said hello and kept on going. I really don't want it to be that way, I want to get so much closer to Jesus that I can't stand it but I keep on letting everything get in the way. If I would have just taken five or ten minutes to get down on my knees and thank Him and praise Him for the blessing of another day.....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy Four

I want to have a better prayer life. I pray every day whenever the urge hits me but I really want to pray more meaningful prayers. Sometimes I find myself praying the exact same prayer as the day before. Kind of like it's out of habit instead of out of a desire to talk to my Creator. Sometimes I pray for my own needs and wants and forget about everybody else. I don't mean to be so selfish and when and if I realize what I'm doing I repent of it and change my prayer but I don't want others to be an afterthought. I want to be someone who has deep conversations with the Lord. Not for show, not for any purpose but to glorify Him and serve Him by lifting up others. I want to have a heart that cares for and loves my neighbor as myself and that sees peoples needs and prays for those needs to be met. I want to have a deep desire to love, serve, and pray for non-Christians especially. I think that by strengthening and rejuvenating my prayer life I will become a much better equipped servant of Christ.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy Three

Genesis 9:11 "Thus I establish My covenant with you: Never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth." 12 And God said: "This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: 13 I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth."
The rainbow is a sign of God's promise not to destroy the earth again by flood. Homosexuals have distorted and desecrated this beautiful colorful sign of the covenant and used it as the sign of their homosexuality. I can't judge anybody but I can judge their actions, especially when Gods word calls it abomination.
It's not enough that they are involved in this lifestyle but they have to take something as pure and beautiful as God's rainbow and cover it with the stench of their sin? I don't think that there are as many people who see the rainbow as what God made it for as there are who see it as a sign of homosexuality. I just hope and pray that this despicable world will repent before it's to late.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy Two

Tonight is going to be a very short post. I am canning green beans after working ten and a half hours and planting blueberries. Every time I plant something I pray for God to bless it when I'm done. If you don't want God to bless you.... Don't ask for it! I asked for it and I certainly got it. Now I am trying my best not to waste it.
Thank You dear Lord! You are awesome in every sense of the word! In Jesus name, Amen!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy One

Today I was able to go to church for the morning service as well as the evening one. I know that one day last week I complained about my schedule changing and missing out on my Tuesday morning bible study but so far it looks as if I have traded it in for being able to get back to where I belong on Sunday morning, at least from about half way through Sunday school anyhow. I still have to work on Sunday mornings but I've been able to make it my short day now.
I'm so glad because, in all honesty, I've noticed a change in myself that I hate. I find myself cussing more than I used to (which was very rare), I also find myself getting frustrated and angry more than I used to. When I was in church every Sunday (for both services) and in the word more, I seemed to be able to handle stress and frustration better than now. I can blame work for missing Sunday mornings but I don't have any excuse for reading Gods word only two to three times a week. I need to get back to being saturated in His word and I think that there's no better time than the present. Now that I have the blessing of getting back into the house of God like I need to be I can use it for a foundation to build on by reading at least two chapters a day like I used to. If I can do these two simple things I know that my entire outlook and attitude will improve dramatically.
Father, thank You for the chance to get back into Your house this morning. Thank You that You have put it on my heart to write this blog every night for a year, and thank You that You have moved me to want to be saturated in Your word again. I pray, Father, that You will help me to stay dedicated and motivated by You and for You. I pray that You will fill me with Your peace and help me to stop cussing and getting angry. I pray that You will give me a double portion of Your wisdom, that I may be able to see when the devil is attacking me and stop him and cause him to flee from me. I need You Lord. Please change me for Your purpose and glory. In Jesus perfect name, AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventy

My wife called me as she always does while she was on her way to the van to come home from work this evening. She was upset, as she has been lately. Every time she has to work she starts to panic because her boss nit-picks everything she does to the point of putting her just about into tears.
By the time my wife comes home she's angry, upset, and usually on the verge of tears or already crying. I can't help but to feel like it's my fault. I asked our district manager to transfer her to this store which is about twenty miles closer than the one that she was at. Within about a week her new boss had her up in the office and it seems to happen just about every month. Apparently the boss traded the last person she nit-picked to death for my wife.
I'm tired of seeing my wife (the woman I adore) coming home in this state but I don't make enough money to support us on my own and a new job won't pay her what she makes now (not to mention, new jobs are hard to come by right now). A big part of me wants to go up there myself and talk to her boss. (This sounds terrible but it's the truth) Another part of me even wishes her boss were a man so I could punch him in the mouth, but of course, that would be terribly wrong and wouldn't do much for our Christian witness either.
I just want to see her in a better frame of mind. I fear that this constant stress is going to really tare her down and I don't want for her to go through anything like that. I love her dearly and pray that God will change this for her benefit.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty Nine

Yesterday on my facebook page I posted a short five or six minute video of a man who was in the hospital dieing. He was on a ventilator and he wrote a note that said something to the effect of "the doctors have given me one to two days to live but I'm not afraid, I'm going home." The man who was making the video (his pastor, I think) showed this mans bible which was full of underscores, highlights, circled passages and notes. The dieing man looked to be extremely happy. He wasn't down at all, but pumped up. He reminded me of somebody who had just made it to the front of the line to be next on a roller coaster. That man did die; the very next day....
I don't have any doubt that he is with our Lord in the kingdom of heaven right now. What we, as Christians, need to do is be that excited about living. I don't mean that we need to take everything that life has to give but that we have to give everything that we can. The way to life is to die to our self and live for Christ. If we can truly do this we will be just like that man was when we are on our death beds. Not somber and afraid but excited and ready to ride that roller coaster.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty Eight

I know that I've written something about this before but it's something that's on my mind. Non-Christians always seem to think, and say that we are shoving our faith down their throats. I don't think that's the case at all. If anything, the secular world is ruthlessly shoving their disdain for and intolerance of Christianity down our throats. From the courthouse to the outhouse the the rights of Christians are slowly and quietly be taken away one by one. By the time a child finds them self in high school they are being ridiculed by students and teachers alike for any belief of or stands for God and when they get to collage they have been targeted so much and their minds so twisted that they don't know if they're coming or going and usually just walk away from the Lord all together. TV, movies, and music ridicule and belittle Christians on a regular basis and it's fine with the majority.
If I talk about Jesus to someone I'm somehow violating them but if they use the Lord's name in vein around me and I mention that it offends me I'm intruding on their 1st amendment right to free speech. If I'm offended by the way someone talks it's fine but if what I say cuts to the bone, I'm a religious fanatic, bigot, or whatever choice word a human-secularist has in store for me. The scales are tilting and tilting badly and quickly. If you don't believe me just look around the average church. The the number of fifty plusers outnumbers the younger parishioners by three or four to one. At that rate the number of Christians will have diminished  to a "controllable" level in no time and our slowly disappearing rights will quickly fade away and nobody will be able to do a thing about it.
We need to preach and teach the word of God to our children! From the time they are born to the time we die! We need to teach them why they believe what they believe and how to defend it! If we don't know ourselves, we need to dig into the bible and (extremely importantly) pray for wisdom and understanding. God will give it if we truly want it! 

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty Seven

Today I had to go to a meeting at work with all the others who do what I do in my district; all the managers were there also. There was one other person there also, it was a young man who used to work under me at another store. He was dressed as a manager. I asked him why he was all dressed up and he told me that he was in the manager training program. I smiled and said something small and went on my way to where I had to be.
I couldn't and can't stop thinking about it. When I left the store that we worked together at, he was a part timer who at best, was mediocre and now he's in a program that will make him potentially my boss. I asked the district manager about getting in the program a while ago and he told me that I would have to become a department manager before climbing the ladder to assistant manager. So you can only imagine the shock that hit me when I heard the news of the young mans quick climb to full time, then lead, and then department manager; all in a years time.
My mind keeps on thinking things like "If his dad wasn't a store manager of thirty plus years he wouldn't have been chosen for this position." Whether I'm right or wrong I shouldn't be thinking things like that. Satan is working overtime on me to try and make me angry, jealous, and even a little hurt about this. Regardless of the circumstances I should be happy for, or at least indifferent to the young man for his new found success but I can't seem to stop thinking that he doesn't deserve this.
I'm ashamed of the way I'm thinking. A Christian shouldn't be like this.....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty Six

I sat down to write this tonight and heard the most glorious sound.... Rain! Lots of beautiful, pouring, delightful rain! As someone who loves to do some gardening I love it, and as someone who loves the Lord and knows that Him and only Him (not mother nature, contrary to what the news reporters say) can give or withhold rain, I'm very thankful for this awesome blessing. He knows our every need and provides for them daily yet we take Him for granted and don't thank Him or praise Him like we should. Every breath that flows in and out of us is a blessing and should be thought of that way. Every meal, the clothing on our backs (no matter how old or out of style), the roof over our heads and even the air conditioning or heat are all gifts from the All Mighty. Let's not forget ALL of those prayers that He has looked upon with favor either. Often times we ask and receive but don't take the time to thank and praise Him.
I can't point my finger at anybody for taking our Lord for granted unless it's at my self. I'm terribly guilty of taking His blessings and happily going on my merry way without so much as a thank You Lord.
Thank You Lord!

The life and trials of a growing - Day One Hundred Sixty Five

Tonight my wife and son both came out and picked green beans with me. It doesn't sound like a big deal but it's something that I cherish. Every time I go out into the garden my son comes with me but my wife is usually either at work or in doing something in the house. It was a real joy to have her come out and ask where I wanted her to start picking. It's got to sound a little stupid and maybe even a little trivial but my heart is full just from that hour or so that I was so blessed to be able spend just working and enjoying my family. Had my daughter been with us it would have been complete.
So many families get caught up in having to make more money to buy more stuff that just isolates them from one another and they don't get to enjoy that fullness of heart that I mentioned above. Although I would love to make more money than I do, I'm rich. Definitely not rich in money but rich in spirit and love.
I have the gift of a relationship with Jesus which promises eternal life and I have a loving family; what more could I need?

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty Four

Tonight at church the man the man who was leading the bible study veered off (like usual) and brought up something that I was very glad to hear. He brought up worship services and the participation, or lack there of, that is given by the congregation. So many times people get moved but don't say or do anything to show it. There's nothing wrong with giving an AMEN every now and then or raising your hands or something to show that you still have a pulse. I'm not saying that people need to randomly break into song or shout so many praises that nobody can hear the service but if the Holy Spirit leads you to want to shout PRAISE THE LORD or something then don't hold it in. Give our Lord the praise He deserves and wants!
2 Samuel 6:14 Then David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was wearing a linen ephod. 15 So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet.
David was so happy and full of the Spirit that he danced and jumped with happiness and praise. Can't we give God the same? After all, He has given us everything, the least we can do is to give Him a little praise right?

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty Three

A old man came to me for help at work three different times today. Each time he cussed a little more but the last time he said "I'm ninety years old. Why did they have to send me to the GD store?" By this time I just walked away from him disgusted. All I could think was "How in the world could someone who's ninety years old purposefully take God's name in vein?" "If I were that old and potentially close to the afterlife I'd probably be a lot more careful what I say."
I've also been watching a show about Steven Hawking's thoughts and he thinks that God is a figment of our imagination. How can somebody who's blessed with so much intelligence be so (for lack of a better word) stupid?
I just can't understand people. They don't have any regard for the One who created them.I wish this twisted world would just stop and turn to Him.  

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty Two

I've recently started reading a book called "The kingdom of the cults." So far it's been very interesting. I started at the "Jehovah's witness and the watchtower bible and tract society" section of the book and in the few pages that I've read I have learned a lot. I learned that a man named Charles Taze Russell founded the cult in 1876 when he was elected "pastor" of a group of people in a bible study group. I also learned that he didn't have any collage, seminary, bible collage or even a high school diploma (which doesn't necessarily mean anything) and that he wasn't even ordained by any clergy. I also read that he sold wheat seed at the rate of $1.00 a pound (which was extremely over priced for the time) calling it "miracle wheat" with the promise that it would produce five times more than any other wheat. The wheat was tested and was proven to be inferior to the average seed. He has been proven to purger himself in court on many occasions. And worst of all he was quoted saying that it's better for someone to have read his notes on the bible than to have read the bible it's self and that if a person quit reading his notes and read the bible only they would regress immediately but if they quit reading the bible and only read his notes they would become increasingly more spiritual.
So far I've read that Mr. Russell was a liar, a cheat, and a fool. Not exactly the kind of person that I would like to get any kind of spiritual advice from. There's no wonder why the Jehovah's witnesses are so far from the scriptures. I can give them one compliment though, they are dedicated. If we as Christians would be half as dedicated there might be a lot less lost souls wondering around out there.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty One

I don't have much to say tonight and if I did I wouldn't be able to because I have a three year old screaming at the top of his lungs in his bedroom. There's nothing wrong with him, he just doesn't want to go to sleep and he's throwing a terrible tantrum which entails lots and lots of ear piercing, head splitting, high pitched screams and some kicking. I can assure you it's not the optimum writing conditions or the optimum conditions for anything other than burying one's head in a pillow and praying for it to stop before one's ears start bleeding.
Wait a minute... What's that? Could it be? Silence.... Nope! He just had to regroup. I have a bad feeling that my entire family is going to have a sleepless or at best, broken sleep night. 

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixty

About two hours before I left work today I was told that my delivery schedule would be changing which would effect my daily work schedule. Instead of having Tuesday and Thursday off I will now have Wednesday and Friday off. There are two things that will be majorly effected by this. One is my son's speech classes which have been on Tuesday and Thursday since he started (I'm pretty sure we can change them), and the other, regrettably, is the Tuesday morning bible study that I've been attending for over two years now.
It's bad enough that where I work makes me miss Sunday morning worship service but now they have to take this from me too? It seems like the Christian owned company that I used to work for sold to a Satan owned company.
 I can see a very big difference in my self now that I don't get to attend Sunday morning worship service; one that I don't like. Tuesday has pretty much turned into my new Sunday so now that it's gone I feel as if I'm being thrown to the dogs. I go on Sunday and Wednesday night, but to be honest, they aren't very fulfilling so Tuesday was all I had to feed me.
I think I  need to start seriously praying and looking for a new place to work and for the Holy Spirit's guidance in everything I do and say. I'm getting really frustrated with people and situations and without that extra spiritual nourishment I fear that I might really say something stupid.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Nine

There is so much going on that isn't right; that doesn't coincide with God's word. I see and hear so much that is vile and despicable and it's just commonplace in society. Nobody seems to speak out about anything except those few who truly try to serve God. Then we're demonized by the massive majority and called things like bible thumpers and flat earthers. This world is like a big, giant pot on a fire that's roaring full blast and the water is getting hotter and hotter with every new vile, disgusting sin that we can think to throw on the fire. We as Christians are supposed to be shouting at the top of our lungs; "STOP!, REPENT!, DON'T YOU FEEL THE WATER GETTING HOTTER AND HOTTER?" But there are so few of us screaming that nobody is listening, and the ones that do hear are shouting for us to shut up.
We are the butt of everyone's jokes so we just sit down, shut up, and let this filthy, stinking world keep on marinating in it's sin. If we don't do anything to change it, we're just contributing to it. So, I ask, what can we do? What will it take to motivate us to stand up for Jesus?
I think the first thing we need to do is unite with each other. If I'm not mistaken there are over three hundred different denominations of Christians. Over three hundred? What kind of sense does that make? If I listed all of them with a comma between each one, all of those commas would be a perfect illustration of how Satan has gotten between all of God's people. There is only one God so why do we need to be split in so many different directions on what His word says, and how to worship Him?
If we don't come together we will continue to be the butt of jokes and infective for God's kingdom. Jesus said that a house divided against itself can't stand. I know that that was when He was accused of driving out demons by Beelzebub in Mathew ten but it can certainly apply here also.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Eight

Sometimes I just don't know how I'm supposed to be. I take every word in the bible as truth and hold the word of God with the utmost respect. So, if it says that the only way to be with the Lord in eternity is to repent and be baptized, which it does in multiple places, I take it to be absolute truth. Here's where the dilemma lies; I can't get the message into people's heads! The bible is so cut and dry about it. If you don't confess Jesus and repent and be baptized you will spend eternity in the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Do I sweetly and gingerly explain it? Do I stand on a chair and boldly holler about hellfire and brimstone? I don't know! Sometimes I just want to knock peoples' heads into one another because it seems as if it's the only thing that will cause them to take me seriously. And it's not me, but the message of the gospel of Jesus that I want people to accept. No matter how I put it people just laugh at me or call me overzealous and say I'm judging them. I don't have any right to judge anyone, but only to judge their fruit. If they claim to know Christ and live like the Devil I need to question that. If they claim to know Christ and spend their life in service to others I need to commend it.
God's word says that He's not willing that any perish but that all should come to repentance.All! So if I'm not sharing the gospel, I'm not doing anything.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Seven

I'm going to say something and I hope it doesn't offend anyone. While at work today I noticed a lot of women shopping after church, which in it's self is fine. What I noticed about them though, was how they were dressed. Some of these women were hardly covered or wearing cloths so form fitting that you couldn't help but to notice. What I can't understand is why; why do women have to go to church (or anywhere, for that matter) exposing themselves for everybody so see? When we go to church we're supposed to leave the world outside and dedicate ourselves to worship. How can that be possible when half of the church (the men) is busy looking at women with lust and the other half (their wives) is busy looking with judgement? Who is listening to the sermon? Who's heart is set on worship?
Men aren't exempt from this either. I see plenty of them dressed to the nines, strutting around like peacocks and looking at their reflection in the glass in all the freezer doors. I hate to say it, but I think the Muslims, Hoscitic Jews, and Amish have it right to a degree. This might sound radical but if everybody dressed the same for worship it might lead to a more fulfilling and genuine experience. I'm not saying that woman should cover every thing but their eyes but if they all dressed much more modestly than they do and if men all wore a plain, inexpensive black suit there would be no gawking or strutting or competition. I just think that too much is put into going to worship, so much that it takes away from it and makes it unholy.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Six

Yesterday I wrote saying that I didn't do anything of any importance for the kingdom of heaven and I really felt that way until I read the comment of a very kind and Godly woman way in the UK. She very kindly and gently reminded me that if I was spending time with my son I was doing work for the kingdom of heaven. It says in Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
I pray with my son before meals, at bedtime, and whenever I feel the need to. I try to teach him about his heavenly Father, but he's a little young to understand so I don't go too in depth yet. Most of all, I just try to teach him about whatever I'm doing at whatever time I'm doing it throughout the day. He's like a little sponge so everything I do or say, good or bad, right or wrong gets sucked up into his little mind and rung out later for anyone to see or hear, at any time whether appropriate or not. (children say the darndest things sometimes)
So, I can revise what I stated in yesterdays blog and say that I was investing into the kingdom of the Lord by spending time with my sweet little Samuel. I only wish that I were able to do the same with his big sister, Megan, but she's in another state.
I'm very grateful to the woman who reminded me of this. Sometimes I get so caught up in wanting to be more than what I am that I forget what I am. A servant of Christ, a husband and a father. I trivialized being one of these things and it took someone half way around the world to get me to see what's right in front of my face. Thank you.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Five

I'm struggling so hard to keep doing this blog. I just want to give up. I don't feel as if anything spiritual has happened in my life today. I woke up, went to work, came home, and hung out with my son until putting him to bed. Just my everyday life. I didn't win any spiritual battles, nor did I share Christ with anybody. I was just here, completely useless for the kingdom of heaven.
Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe I will step up to the plate and go out of my way to serve our Lord. Maybe He will put someone in my path who I can share Him with or help in His name. I just want to be useful for Jesus. So many people show up to church on Sunday only to do nothing for our Lord the entire week until returning to church the following Sunday to repeat the process over and over again for a lifetime. If I'm doing that, I beg and plea; please use me Lord! Please give me the wisdom and courage to see where I'm needed and go to work for You! In Jesus name, AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Four

It's time to renew our tags on the van and this year I want to get personalized tags. I want to use a scripture but I want to use just the right one. I've been a little nervous about putting anything referring to my faith in Jesus on our vehicle. Not because I'm ashamed of our Lord but because I'm more ashamed of myself. I don't want to get angry or do something foolish while riding around with scripture on our van. I've seen a lot of people riding around with Christian bumper stickers or cross magnets and they give people the finger or lay on their horns and scream and yell at them and I don't want to be one of them. Yet, at the same time, I do want to have something that would compel a person to dust off their bible and read it, if only to see what the scripture says. Also, riding around with a public display of God's word on our van might lead me to be on my best behavior, or at least keep me from being on my worst.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Three

For the past three days I've been trapping and relocating squirrels so they won't eat all of our tomatoes when they come in. When I see those squirrels in that trap it makes me think about people trapped in sin. I bait the trap with peanut butter which is irresistible to squirrels, Satan baited his trap with a forbidden fruit which he tricked our ancestors Adam and Eve into eating which caused us all to be born into sin. After the squirrel takes the bait the doors drop shut, trapping it and it jumps back and forth in the trap trying to get out and just wears it's self out. A person trapped in sin flails around in it for a while but then accepts it for normalcy and lives with it. The squirrel I caught yesterday didn't want to leave the cage when I tried to set it free, similarly, most people don't don't want to admit that they are caught up in sin and are content to just stay where they are. I had to poke at the cage with a stick to get the squirrel out and the Holy Spirit pokes at our hearts to get us to confess Jesus and let go of sin's bondage. The squirrel took off running into it's new home, never looking back at that trap that it came out of. A sinner (if they choose) accepts the gift of freedom and eternal life by confessing Jesus and being baptized, never to look back at that trap of sin we once called home.
I'm so grateful to be free from that trap and I want so desperately for everyone who's still caught to look to that open door which is Jesus and go through Him into their new, free home.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty Two

This is another Tuesday and you know what that means. That's right, another Tuesday morning bible study and this one was great! We had a guest speaker who was a breath of fresh air. He spoke about what the United States was founded upon, and how we've gotten so far from where the founding fathers intended on us being. The U.S. was founded by people who had a deep respect and reverence for God.
The first amendment to the constitution says that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. That doesn't mean that we are free from God, it means that the government can't establish a national religion. He brought up the fact that we have elected these activist judges and politicians who have slowly taken away the freedom of the Church and we as Christians are too busy fighting each other about theology and who's way of worship is the right way to even realize that we're in a nation that's in a terrible social decline. Instead of being guided by God's word, we're just doing what feels right. In fact, many Christians don't even know what God's word even says about much of anything.
We're doing everything that Rome did and we know what happened there. I'm only thirty eight years old and I see a huge difference in society now from when I was growing up and it's only going to worsen unless we (Christians) do something about it. There are almost as many Christians who don't vote as there are that do. So, who is the blame for the sad state that our beloved USA is finding herself in. It's not the secularists, they're only doing what think is right; it's almost as if they don't know any better. No, it's the fault of the divided, failing Church.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty One

I was really looking forward to watching a history channel movie that has been advertized for months now. Well, I watched twenty minutes of it and had to turn it off! In twenty minutes Gods name was used in vein twice and there were countless curse words. I get so tired of having to turn off movies because people can't make them without this kind of language.
I don't have a perfectly clean mouth, in fact I slip up and curse more than I'd like to admit, but it makes me cringe when I hear Gods name being used in vein. I just don't understand why everybody, everywhere feels like it's necessary to say GD or OMG and why you can't get a movie without it unless it's a cartoon or a documentary. Yes, I know there are Christian films and some of them are great, but a lot of them are pretty cheesy.
As disappointed as I am about having to turn off the movie, I'm glad that it made me feel uncomfortable enough to do it. That means that the Holy Spirit is stirring me and I'm listening for a change.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifty

Sometimes I wonder what the point of doing this is. Often times I'm so tired when it's time to write that I don't really want to do it, tonight's one of those nights. In fact, I just feel like quitting this all together but I won't. I can't, I have to keep going until I've done this for a full year. It's hard. I feel as if I'm failing our Lord and not growing at all but shrinking instead. I feel like I'm the biggest hypocrite that ever walked the face of the earth, I can't seem to be able to do what I want and need to do and I can't seem to stop doing what I don't want to do. I feel as if I'm a great big ole failure.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Nine

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
Anybody who doesn't believe this has set them self up to be devoured already. There is a devil and he will do anything he can to take us out of the Fathers hand. He will lie, he will take, and, worst of all, he will give. I say worst of all because he knows what all of our weaknesses are and he will give us whatever we want to make us willfully leave God. He'll give money to a poor man, fame to an outcast, and a "lover" to someone who's lonely. It doesn't matter what it is, if it will get in the way of a relationship with the all mighty God he will offer it to us and make it easily attainable. If we don't stay in the word and in prayer we are as good as done for. Temptation is around every corner and if we don't keep a clear mind that's focused on Jesus we will fall for it. The wonderful thing is that no matter how many times we fall, (and I sure do fall, a lot) Jesus will pick us up and dust us off if we will just humble ourselves and ask.

The life and trials of a growing Christian -Day One Hundred Forty Eight

This morning, when I got to work, I opened the door to my walk-in freezer and found that one of the night crew guys had put their soda in there and spilled it all over the floor and left the frozen mess all over the place. I became very angry and yelled and cussed like some maniac or something. I asked the night manager if he knew anything about it and continued to act like a fool for a few more minutes. He understood my anger and found the person who made the mess and had him scrape it up. When I saw him cleaning the mess I apologized to him for losing my temper and helped him clean it up. I also apologized to another one of the night guys and explained that I very rarely talk like that. He said "It's no big deal, you're a Christian aren't you?" All I could say was "I'm trying." He shook my hand and said "that's cool."
I was so ashamed by the way I acted and I couldn't understand how he could even see that I'm a Christian. Then it dawned on me, it wasn't the asinine way I acted but the guilt that I had for acting like that and the need to immediately apologize for it that showed him that I'm a Christian. I'm not proud of my actions in any way but I am glad that through my failure Jesus was given praise.
I guess this proves once again that God can take something bad and use it for His glory.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Seven

 My heart just doesn't feel as if it's being stirred to write anything. Today wasn't bad by any means, I just didn't have any deep spiritual experiences or thoughts. I can however say that our Lord has provided me with food, shelter, clothing, and a job! Praise the Lord! I can also say that He has blessed me with the love of my wife, two children, mother, and even some loving in-laws! Not to many people can say that! I'm not rich with wealth but my cup still runs over. All of my needs are met just like Jesus said. Mathew 6:31 "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."
Thank You God! AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Six

I wasn't going to write much this evening but I checked my facebook page right before I started and I saw something beautiful. A woman I used to go to school with recently lost her mother to cancer and she posted a picture of her memorial stone with the explanation that her mother didn't want her final resting place to be about her, but rather, Him. The stone read: She heard the call "come follow", that was all. Earth's joys grew dim, her soul went after Him. She rose and followed, that was all. Will you not follow if you hear the call?  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
That is such a powerful, selfless witness that will live on as long as that stone will last. Who knows how many people that it could impact? Like I said, it's beautiful.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Five

Tonight, at revival, the preacher talked about the parable of the good Samaritan found in Luke 10:25- 37. We all know the story; a Jew was traveling to Jerusalem and he was robbed of his clothing and beaten up really badly. A priest passed by, and then a Levite and neither did anything. But then a Samaritan (who Jews hated) came across him and poured wine on his injuries and put him on his own donkey and took him to an inn and promised to cover whatever the charges would be to take care of him. The preacher then began to explain that the equivalency to the Levite  would be a Christian and of course the priest would be equivalent to a preacher.
If somebody had beaten me up and stolen my cloths and left me for dead and a preacher and a fellow Christian looked at me and passed me by I would be terribly hurt. But then, if somebody who I swore to hate showed me such compassion and mercy, I think I would have to change the way I look at things.
Then the preacher asked "How many people who are in need are you going to pass on the way home tonight?" It cut through me like a knife. Then he asked "Who are you putting in a box?" Meaning, who am I harboring judgement over, or who am I making into a Samaritan? That also cut through me like a knife. You see, I have judged plenty of people and I have put myself above plenty of people. That means that I'm no better than the Levite or the the priest.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Four

Today at work I kept thinking about a couple verses in Mathew and trying to figure out something pertaining to how many of us, including myself worship. These are the verses; Mathew 6:5 "And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
So, my area of  concern is this; why do we pray out loud at church? At my church, and I'm sure at many others,  people (including me) are often called upon to pray aloud. A lot of times I feel as if I'm being a hypocrite when I do because of these verses. A lot of times you can hear the insincerity in peoples prayers, almost as if they're just trying to get through it, other times people seem to ramble on and on as if they feel that the more they pray, the better it makes them look. If you hear the same people pray aloud enough you notice that they tend to pray the same prayer or a slightly different version of it over and over again. So, if this is the case, why do we do it? Doesn't Jesus say not to?

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Three

I have a confession to make. After almost six years of marriage I still don't quite understand my wife. I love her more than life it's self but I still can't seem to completely understand her. I'm not saying that we aren't getting along or anything like that, I'm just saying that she sees things differently than I do. Things upset her that don't upset me and, likewise, things upset me that don't upset her. She also sees a lot of things that I don't. I guess she has a much better eye for detail than I do. God knew exactly what He was doing when He put us, two exact opposites, together.
I probably won't ever completely understand my lovely bride and she probably won't ever completely understand me but I'm so grateful that God has given us the opportunity to learn what makes each other tick. I love her so much that words haven't been invented yet to explain it. Thank You God for my best friend, my confidant, my helper, the person who corrects me when I'm wrong but doesn't hold it against me (often, I'm wrong a lot), my wife.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty Two

Tomorrow is our church homecoming and more importantly the start of revival. I know this sounds bad but the homecoming I could really do without. It's just the birthday celebration of our church where there's music and over eating and a bunch of people that we only see when they are being fed show up and tell us how much they love us (wink, wink) and miss us, then they leave only to be seen again at the next over eating party. I guess the theory about these big over eating events is that somebody new will come, maybe even somebody who doesn't know Jesus, and they will decide to give our church a try. I haven't seen it yet but anything's possible. I know, I have a bad attitude about these big gatherings but I see people talk about each other one minute and then smile and hug each other the next while asking how their families are doing. Anyhow, as fun as it is to gripe about homecoming I'm going to stop and talk about the other half of the day, the part that I really need. REVIVAL! Revival is when we have a guest preacher preach Sunday morning and then Monday through Wednesday evening. I love it. Unfortunately, I have to miss Sunday morning but I'm very hopeful that I'll make the remaining three evenings. Usually we have a preacher who isn't afraid to "step on our toes" and I hope this time it isn't any different. We all need to be told the truth about ourselves so we can see our errors and where we're lacking so we can repent and ask forgiveness. We need to be refreshed in our walk and built up in our faith. It's not that our normal preacher can't do that, but sometimes it takes a complete stranger, someone who doesn't know anything about anyone there to set us straight. I could probably use a good preachin at every day of my disobedient life. It sure couldn't hurt anyhow.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty One

Tonight is much like last night.... I really just don't have much to say. I'm tired and I just want to go to bed. I'm thankful for the day that God has given me and I'm happy to bring it to a close.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Forty

I don't know what to write tonight. I don't feel as if I'm being led in any direction whatsoever. I know that God hears my prayers when I ask for His direction and He always gives me a path to go down but it doesn't seem that way tonight.
Sometimes I feel like He's so far from me that He can hardly see or hear me, or maybe He's just got His back turned to me. I know that neither is the case but that's just how it feels sometimes. I guess I just can't sit in my Father's lap all the time. Sometimes I have to get up and walk on my own. How I walk and where I go is up to me and maybe He let's me feel like He's not with me to show just how badly I need Him.
I need You God! In every aspect of my life, I need You! Please show me Your will for me. Show me what You want for me to do for Your kingdom. Show me what my spiritual gifts are and how to use them for Your glory. Please give me more of a desire to serve others and to be kind to others- to have an understanding of their needs and feelings instead of being wrapped up in myself. In Jesus name, AMEN!  

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Nine

At work today I was able to talk to a coworker about the Lord. She said she's a Christian and that she thinks we're in the end times. She said that she hopes we're in the end times. I couldn't help but to ask her if it matters. If we are in Christ it doesn't matter if we're in the end times or not. We're going to be with Jesus whether He comes for us or whether we die and go to Him, it's just that simple. The main thing we need to worry about is sharing the gospel. Jesus said in Mathew 9:37 Then He said to the disciples, "The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. 38 Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."
The harvest is the multitudes of people who are ready to come to Jesus, if He is presented to them. And the laborers? We are those laborers! What does a farmer do when his crop is ready to harvest? He brings in the harvesters (the laborers) and they don't stop working until the field has been picked clean. We also can't stop working until everyone has had the chance to come to Christ.
I'm lacking in this. I try, but I can honestly say that I don't try hard enough. If I spent as much time working on the harvest for Jesus as I do working in my own garden there's no telling what could be accomplished. I have the sneaking suspicion that many others are in the same boat as me. One way or the other we are going to be judged the King of kings, let's harvest His fields until they are picked clean!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Eight

Today Samuel and I went out and fertilized our garden and when we were done, I had him kneel down with me in the back yard and thank God for our garden and to ask Him to send rain. The TV weatherman had been calling for rain all day, hence the reason we fertilized (I don't want our plants to get burned up from fertilizer with no rain). So, I had a pretty good idea that it would rain, but you never know. I wanted Samuel to see his prayer answered and then take the opportunity to teach him about God's faithfulness. Jesus said in John 14:14 "If you ask anything in my name, I will do it."
I pray with Samuel every night, every time we eat, when we plant in the garden and whenever else I feel it's appropriate. Well, a few hours later, it began to thunder, lightning, and rain! I grabbed Samuel, opened the back door, and showed him the rain. I told him that God had heard our prayer and sent the rain. I told him to thank the Lord and he did. He looked out at the rain and shouted " Pyaise da Yord" with a big smile on his little face. I was so happy to hear him say it that it put a big lump in my throat. I want so desperately for him to have a strong faith and conviction in God. I want him to want to serve the Lord with everything that he is and I'm trying to do everything I can to fertilize and build him up in the Lord.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Seven

Yesterday, in my morning prayers I asked God to allow me to help somebody in His name every day. Today, my wife looked out the window and asked "who are those people out there?" I looked out front door and noticed that it was a whole family, stuck on our road with a flat tire. Before I had a chance to think I was down there helping them. We got the tire off and found out that the spare was flat too. So, I took one of them to a used tire store that was closed. Thank God that the man next door owned it and was able to sell him a tire (for a little less than he usually does because money was an issue), but he couldn't put it on the rim, so we called a tire store down the road who was just about to close and they put the tire on the rim for a third of what they usually do it for! The young man that I was helping was so happy that he gave me the ten dollars he had left (which was like getting a hundred because our bank account is at about two dollars). On the way back to put the tire on his car I gave him my testimony, it's really easy to talk about the Lord when you have a captive audience. After we put the tire on the car he slapped me five and hugged me and his family and him thanked me and left.
I'm not telling this to get any glory or praise from man, but to give glory and praise to our Heavenly Father. Jesus said that if we help somebody we are helping Him, and likewise, if we don't help people we are denying help to Him. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve my Lord and hope to see and respond to many, many more chances to serve.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Six

I've been wondering what the proper age of baptism is. I have two children, ages seventeen and three. I'm sure that if my daughter, the seventeen year old, decided to be baptized it would be fine. But I have heard of a lot of children being baptized at the age of six or nine or twelve and it just seems really premature. Baptism is a very serious thing for somebody to do and I don't think that parents should take or allow their children to take it lightly. A child, even a child who has been raised in a Christian home doesn't quite understand sin and the need to be forgiven of it at such an early age. They also feel the need to please their Christian parents or grandparents and do it for the wrong reason. If a child knows that getting baptized will please their family and make them proud, they are very likely to do it for the praise and not because of the work of the Holy Spirit in them. Then they get a little older and and want to quit on God, the church and everything that is associated with them. So, I still can't give a proper age for baptism but I certainly don't think that it should be before puberty.
The next thing I wanted to bring up is parents who think it's cute and harmless to let their children take part in communion. It is not cute or harmless! It makes a mockery of the communion of the saints. If a person is not saved and baptized or they feel that their heart isn't right with God they are doing it in vein. 1 Corinthians 12:27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manor will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manor eats and drinks judgement to himself, not discerning the Lords body. 
I can't proclaim to know much but a child doesn't understand the depth of spirituality involved in taking communion. Now, since a child is young and ignorant of this sin it's up to us not to let them partake. I think that if we don't we are just heaping sin upon ourselves.

The life and trials of a growing Cheistian - Day One Hundred Thirty Five

Today has been a long day and I really don't have much to write about so instead of trying to force something I'll just write a few of my favorite verses. John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the Life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.
These five verses prove the deity of Jesus. If you can believe this, than the rest of the new testament shouldn't be a problem.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Four

I feel pretty guilty about something. I didn't set aside any money for my tithe last week or this week. All of our money has gone to mortgage, bills, gas, and groceries. I let us get behind last month and we can't seem to dig out. I feel really lousy about this; especially since, about a month ago, I wrote about tithing even though we were short. I don't know what happened, and how I got so weak but I did and now I feel like pond scum. Before last week, we hadn't missed paying our tithe since we started. The plan is to make it up at the end of the month and next month since we have an extra Friday. I just hope that we can stick to it...

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Three

Today was a good day, with the rain that came yesterday I was able to pull weeds out of our softened garden. It got me to thinking about what Jesus said about those who don't worship Him. He was explaining a parable that He had earlier told a multitude of people from a boat. In that parable He talked about a man who sowed good seed in his field but when he went to sleep his enemies came and planted tares which are weeds that are good for nothing. The man's servants asked if he wanted them to pull up the weeds but he said to wait until the harvest so that the wheat wouldn't be disturbed by the pulling of the weeds. Then the weeds were to be separated and burned. The scripture with this parable was Mathew 13:24-30 but the scripture that I was reminded of was Mathew 13:40 "Therefore as the tares are gathered and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of this age."
Previously, in 38, Jesus said that the tares represented the sons of the wicked one. Anyone who doesn't worship Jesus in this life will be thrown into the fires of hell. It doesn't get any simpler than this. Either confess Jesus now and be gathered unto Him in the next life or deny Him now, but confess Him in the next life when He is turning His back to you and you are burning like those worthless weeds. The choice is yours.....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty Two

A couple years ago one of my friends told me not to get "too Christian." I'm still trying to figure out what that actually means. I also hear people being described as "radical Christians" and again, I can't seem to understand what it means. Does the mainstream dictate how Christian a person should be? Is a person who goes to church more than once a week "too Christian"? Is someone who prays whenever the urge strikes "radical"? I don't think so. Jesus doesn't want part of us, He wants all of us. If the goal of a Christian is to be more Christ like with each passing day, I don't understand how someone could possibly be "too Christian". A tree grows and grows for years but the moment it stops growing it starts dieing. The same can be said for a Christian who isn't "radical". The moment they stop studying and learning and trying to be Christ like, they start dieing. If someone wants to call me "too Christian" I welcome it and respond by saying I'm not Christian enough.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty One

I listen to AFR (American Family Radio) most of the time while I'm in the van and for the past couple weeks they've been playing a soundbite of Penn from the comedy duo Penn and Teller. Mr. Penn is a devout atheist and in the soundbite he says that if he could see that a speeding bus was coming to hit someone, that at some point he would have to tell them, and then move them (if they didn't listen) out of harms way. This was very profound, especially coming from an atheist. Obviously he was comparing the bus to hell and pushing the person out of the way to sharing Christ.
That's exactly what we as Christians are lacking in. If we truly believe what we say we believe why don't we share it whatever the cost? There is no answer that can justify not sharing Him. Jesus is the Savior of the world, the only Savior, the only way to escape spending eternity in hell. If a person dies and they don't know Jesus as their Savior, they are going to hell. So why am I not shouting it from the rooftops? Why am I not telling everyone, and I mean everyone who I come into contact with about Jesus? I couldn't even come close to giving an answer to that question. All I know is that by not screaming BUS at the top of my lungs I'm responsible for someone's eternal damnation.
Sharing Jesus is the most important thing we can do but how do I do it? I can't just go up to an unbeliever and shake them until they believe. I also can't decide who deserves salvation and who doesn't. God's word says that He's not willing that any should parish, but that all should come to Christ. ALL!
As I'm reading over this I find that my own words are convicting me. I haven't done much to bring anyone to Jesus at all. Dear God please forgive me. Please change me and please help me to serve You wholeheartedly. Please help me to share Your word and truth with ALL who I come into contact with. Help me, Lord, to be a fearless servant. In Jesus sweet name, AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirty

All day today I've been thinking about yesterday's post. I don't want anyone to think that I'm bitter or holding a grudge because I'm not, at least I don't think I am. Since I've started doing this blog, all kinds of memories have started coming back into my mind. Things that I thought didn't amount to a hill of beans are bringing forth all kinds of feelings that I didn't even know I had. I don't know if I'm going through some kind of crazy early midlife crisis or if I'm just going through my closet and dealing with all of those skeletons that I never properly put to rest. The important thing is that I deal with them, how ever hard it is and move on.
I brought up my mother last night and now that I look back on what I wrote I realize that I forgot one thing; a very important thing and that is that I forgive her and I love her. I also brought up my ex-wife. While I hate the fact that I haven't been able to raise my daughter I can say that I probably couldn't have done any better, in fact I probably would have done a lot worse considering the lifestyle that I used to lead. I forgive her also, and I realize that she didn't do what she did to hurt me but she did it because she thought that it was best for our daughter.
There's no telling what might come to my mind in the future and there's no telling how it'll make me feel but I'm confident that it's all part of God's plan to free me and make me a better man and servant for Him.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Nine

Today, while I was working, I had a few thoughts. I don't want to offend or hurt anybody in my family, and I know they will read this but I kind of feel that I have to write it anyway. My thoughts were this... Why is it that good memories seem to fade like the day turning into night but bad memories burn in like a white hot nail into a dry piece of wood? Here's where it's probably going to get a little hairy; I'm going to give a couple examples and hope that nobody takes offense because there is no malice or ill will intended.
I can't seem to remember a whole lot of really great times with my parents, but I know I did have them. I know that my mom loves me very much and she regrets this happening, but I used to spend a lot of Friday nights at a bar with her and my dad. At first it would be OK, I would eat maraschino cherries and those little orange slices like crazy, and I would play the jukebox with handfuls of quarters that they and their friends would give me. But that was only fun for so long. I remember getting bored and lonely, and asking and begging to go home but the more I begged, the longer they stayed and the drunker they got. I hated it. I saw quite a few drunken fights between them, and it was pretty scary sometimes. As much as I hated this experience, I did the same thing to my daughter, and I'm very ashamed of it.
Another thing that seems to fade with time is the memory of the births of my children. I used to be able to recall every minute, infinitesimal detail of their births, but now I just remember the basics. I can, however, tell you exactly what happened the new years eve night that I had to give my daughter to my ex-wife. She had filed for custody in the state of Kansas and had come to Virginia to get Megan. I kept her at bay for a while but eventually I was given the choice of riding up to the gate and handing Megan over or having the police and social services removing her and taking her to my ex-wife. I chose to take her myself and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Maybe it's just the way I am. I might be stuck looking at how empty my glass is instead of how full it is. It might just be normal to remember what hurts better than what feels good, I don't know but I wish it were the other way around.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Eight

Today was a pretty uneventful day. I went to work, came home and worked in the garden, and made dinner. I didn't do anything special and nothing special happened to me. We did, however, get some rain which I am very grateful to our Lord for. This has just been a very plain day, but a plain day is better than a bad day and it allows me to appreciate the great days. Any day to be alive is a day worth praising God for, so, to God be all glory! AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Seven

I just heard on the news that the ACLU is trying to get a school in Giles county Va to remove a picture of the ten commandments from their wall. They are representing one student who says they are offended by it. One student out of an entire school? This is absolutely ridiculous! Things like this are happening all over the country and it just doesn't make any sense! How can one person have so much power? Or is it that it's because the Ten Commandments are representative of the Judeo-Christian faith? If a Christian has a problem with, or is offended by something, we are told to deal with it or it's just the way that it is. How is it that this blatant disregard for Christians and Jews can be allowed and even celebrated but if a Christian or Jew speaks out about being offended about something we're just labeled as bigots or zealots?  I just don't understand....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Six

Today in the United States is the National Day of Prayer. This is a day when we, as a nation, are supposed to humble ourselves before God and give Him all thanks, praise, honor, and Glory. Today, we are supposed to forget all differences and unite in reverence to our God. My family and I went to a gathering this evening at the Ashland Town Hall and did just that with about two hundred or so others who love the Lord. There were a few bands and preachers running it, but what really impressed me was that the Ashland Chief of Police and a Virginia General Assemblyman were there and participating as well. I know that it doesn't sound like a big deal but in a time when people are starting to look down on Christians, their public display of faith is like a breath of fresh air.
I was very happy to be outside, publicly praying and praising God. My only wish is that it didn't happen just once a year, but that a public display of faith would again be something that everybody did all the time, everywhere! I hope and pray that the United States will once again turn to the Lord our God and confess that we are sinful and need Him, and that we will turn from our wickedness and serve Him as a nation. I believe that 9/11 was a wake up call and we started to turn back to Him but we've quickly forgotten our way and gotten worse than we were to begin with.
Dear God, thank You for the blessing of freedom. Thank You that we, as a nation, are still so very blessed. I confess to You, Lord, that we are guilty of turning away from You and worshiping our selves and glorifying our wealth and abundance which You have given us. I pray that You will help us to turn back to You and to quit the practice of worshiping created things instead of You, the Creator. I pray that You will forgive us for the millions of babies that we have killed out of our own greed and that You would weigh heavily on our hearts, that we would stop immediately. In Jesus name, AMEN!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Five

I've had a nagging feeling all day. One that I can't seem to fight or dismiss. I got into an argument with my mother a few days ago, to be more specific, it was an argument about this blog. I haven't spoken to her in three days and I feel really bad about it. We usually talk on the phone every night, even if it's just to say hi, I'm OK, goodbye but neither one of us has made an attempt to contact the other. I hate it. I'm torn between writing what I really feel I need to write, and honoring my mother. I want so desperately to write a few things that would be like taking off a thousand pound backpack but it would probably cause more strife between us. At least, for a little while. If writing this blog is supposed to make me grow as a Christian I need to be free to write it. I used to be one of those people who thought that what happened in someone's past had nothing to do with the way they spend their present and future but I might have to revise that thinking a little. My favorite saying used to be "Suck it up sissy" and sometimes I still think that, but I'm also starting to think that the past needs to be worked through; at least, brought up and then put to rest.
I love my mother very much and I want to resolve this. I hate not being on good terms with her, but I really feel the need to continue with trying to grow so I can become the husband, father, son, and man that God is leading me to be. I guess I know what to pray about don't I?

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Four

Today is Tuesday so you know what that means. I got to go to my Tuesday morning bible study which is almost always great. Today was no different we read John 17, the real Lord's prayer. I say that because Luke 11:2-4 which is what people attribute to being the Lord's prayer is an example of how to pray and not a prayer. But John 17, this is Jesus praying His heart out. He prayed for Himself, His disciples, and all believers, and although He was the one facing death, He spent four times the amount of time praying for others than Himself. He gave of Himself all the way unto death. I'm so grateful to have been given the privilege to be His!

The life and trials of a growing - Day One Hundred Twenty Three

I think God used my three year old son, Samuel, to teach me a lesson tonight. We were out in the garden getting it ready to plant some peppers and squash tomorrow and I couldn't keep him from trampling the other vegetables. It seemed like every ten minutes (sometimes less) I had to stop what I was doing and go get him out of our just sprouting green beans or stop him from shaking tomato cages or go get him out of the onions. It was either that or I had to go and get him out of the freshly dug holes that were awaiting compost. Finally, after asking and telling and sternly telling I went over to him and spanked him. He cried as if I had beat him half to death but of course, I didn't. Then I picked him up, took him over to the stoop and tried to explain why he had just gotten spanked followed with a big hug, kiss, and an "I love you."
So, you might ask "where's the lesson in that?" Well, God tells us all the time not to do a lot of the things that we do, either through His word, sermons at church, other Christians or just about anything. But more often than not we ( I ) just keep on doing what we've just been told not to do or not doing what we've just been told to do. Often times it takes God's rebuke's to get our (my) attention and then... Well, then comes the crying and the complaining but it's usually made all better with a big hug, kiss, and that wonderful "I love you."
Yes, God used my little Samuel to teach me a lesson tonight, and that lesson is that I'm no different than him and I'll never be too "big" or "grown up" to receive a good ole fashioned tail whoppen  from my heavenly Father, and I'll never outgrow the need to feel his hug and kiss and hear "I love you Brian."

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty Two

Today was my first day back to work after ten days off. I was well rested but a little out of the swing of things. I'm sure that by the middle of the week everything will be back to normal. Anyhow, the entire time I was there, I was pining for my family. I really had a great time just being with them. The only thing that would have made it better is if my daughter had been here as well. I haven't been able to see her for close to three years now.
I also thought about just how blessed I am to have the wife that God has given me. She's not perfect, but she is perfect for me. She loves me in spite of all my shortcomings which are probably countless. She also defends me whether I'm right or not, and that means the world to me. Sometimes I feel as if I don't deserve her and sometimes, I probably don't. I'm so glad that I have her to spend the rest of my life with and I only hope that I can grow into a better husband and father.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty One

For the past couple nights my mind has been going a hundred miles an hour and yet when I get behind the keyboard it's as if I'm unable to write anything. I've been sitting here for forty five minutes and this is my big masterpiece. I feel as if I've been cut off at the knee and now I'm just struggling to get up. Oh well, I'm going to bed, tomorrow is my first day back to work after a week of vacation.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twenty

I've been sitting at this computer for an hour wrestling with myself over what I'm going to write, in fact, I've written and erased four or five different things. It's not that I don't know what I want to write, it's that I don't want to anger or hurt anybody. So, I guess I'll write about daisies and bunny rabbits and how everything is peachy. I can't do that either, so I'll just thank God for the gift of another day and close.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Ninteen

My daughter called me today crying and upset that a classmate of hers had fallen asleep at the wheel, woke up, over corrected and hit a tree, instantly dieing. I hated to hear her so upset and I wasn't able to do anything to console her. All I could do was tell her that I was sorry and to try to learn a lesson from it. In fact, there are many lessons that could be learned from it. One is about the fragility of life and how it can end in an instant. No one knows when they will die. Teenagers tend to think that they are invincible when in all reality they are naive, vulnerable and overconfident in their own abilities. It wasn't too long ago that I was a teenager and young adult and I remember pretty well how I never had any respect for the frailty of life and how I always thought that it was a shame when people died prematurely but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it wouldn't or couldn't happen to me. That couldn't have been further from the truth. The only reason why I'm here writing this is because God has allowed me to. Life is God's to give and His to take and all we have is a few, quick years so we need to make the best of them. When I say this, I mean that we all need to accept Jesus and serve our Lord while we can because it can all be over in the blink of an eye. I know my daughter is probably going to read this and I hope that she doesn't think that I'm being insensitive to her because it's definitely not my intention. It's out of love that I'm saying this. I don't want to see anything like this happen to her, and I certainly don't want her to remain an atheist. 

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Eighteen

Today I was drilling holes in some PVC pipe to use for vents in our compost pile. While doing it, my cordless drill got really hot and started smoking. It smelled like crack does when being smoked and for a second or two I caught myself thinking that it smelled good. Then I came to my senses and walked away from it and when I came back it smelled nauseating. I felt sick to my stomach for the next hour or so and I'm so glad that I did. It reminded me of how sickening that part of my life was and how I don't ever want to go back to it. Like the smoke that came out of my drill and disappeared so was all that time that I wasted drinking and getting high.
I'm not that guy anymore and it's because of the work that the Holy Spirit has accomplished in me due to my faith in Jesus. It's funny, if I were still smoking that crap that smell would have been the very thing to make me want some but now it just made me sick. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
I really am a new creation and I owe it all to Jesus!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seventeen

Tonight, while praying for guidance from the Lord on what to write about, speaking in tongues immediately came to my mind; Before I could even finish my prayer. So, here we go. I really haven't seen anybody speak in tongues except on TV and I really don't understand it. I know that in Acts 2 they were all speaking in tongues but it was other known languages. Later Paul says in 1 Corinthians that someone speaking in unknown tongues is speaking to God and not man. But a few verses after that he says that he wishes all could speak in tongues but even more, that they could prophesy, unless they could interpret so the entire church could be edified. Later in the same chapter (14) of 1 Corinthians Paul says that he, himself speaks in tongues but it is better that he speak five words that are understandable than ten thousand in tongues.
It seems like this is more of a stumbling block than a gift to me. What I mean is some churches look down on a person if they don't speak in tongues and some churches look down on people who do. Personally, I think that a lot of people pretend to be speaking in tongues so they'll be accepted. They say it's uncontrollable but I often wonder why it only happens in churches or around others who accept it. Why don't people just break out speaking tongues in at work or the mall or while driving down the road? Like I said, I just don't understand.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Sixteen

I really can't understand how somebody who claims to know or have known Jesus could just walk away from Him. I talked on facebook tonight to somebody who said that he was raised in a Christian home and would defend and share his faith anytime he could. That is until he started thinking in a "self-directed way." So he just up and quit on Jesus. He said that he "suddenly had the will to abandon any belief, no matter how dear." It's as if there were a switch on him and it suddenly got flipped to the off position. So my question is; did he ever really have a faith in Jesus or did he just regurgitate what his parents taught him? He also said that if he realized that something was "morally unacceptable or unjustifiable logically it led to his unbelief." Again I wonder; who's morals are he using? His, his friends, or the worlds? The same can be asked about the logic he's applying. Who's logic? I asked him if he would be open to slowly and methodically reading the book of John and he said that he had slowly and methodically read the entire bible and that's what had led him to turn away from God.
I've debated (I use that term loosely) this guy before and he's really smart, way smarter and more educated than stupid ole me, and yet he can't seem to understand the word of God. I'm not saying that I know or understand the entire bible because I certainly don't, but I know that God created everything including man in six days and rested on the seventh. I know that the first two people were tricked by Satan (the serpent) into disobeying God which is why there is sin and death in the world. I know that Jesus the Christ is God's son and yet God also and that He was born of a virgin and lived a sinless life and died and was raised from death saving all who would repent and be baptized from death and hell.
All I can figure is that he thinks himself to be too smart to buy into God, Jesus and the bible.The bible says in 1Corinthians 2:20 Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? 21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. 22 For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; 23 but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
Jesus is the only way to salvation. That might sound foolish, far fetched, too easy, or just plain not possible but it is. I have put my life on it, and I wouldn't just do that for maybe or could be. I hope that the man I talked to and everyone like him would reopen their hearts to Jesus and trust in Him and not in their own wisdom and abilities.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fifteen

Today I was able to go to church for the morning service which is unusual because I'm always at work on Sunday mornings. It was great! In fact I believe I've changed my mind about wanting to leave our church. I guess I should backtrack a little bit. For a while now, I've been struggling with being unhappy with the way things have been going at church, and I can't really say that much has changed with the church but I can say that I've regained the hope that some changes will be made.
I also think that my missing almost every Sunday morning has been a hard blow to the way in which I've been looking at things. When I first started working on Sundays I did it with a sense of loss in my heart. But then, like so many things, it got easier and easier. Soon I started feeling like a stranger. I still go on Sunday and Wednesday night but that morning worship is just so much more. Anyhow, I've been crying and whining about how I haven't been fed and it's true I haven't, but I also haven't been going to the table hungry either. What I mean is, I haven't exactly been making the time I do get at church a time of learning and growth. My attitude has been pretty crappy, I guess because I've been too worried about what I'll get or not get instead of what I'll give.
It's funny; yesterday I read about Saul's conversion and how Ananias laid hands on him which filled him with the Holy Spirit and returned his sight, and today it feels as if the scales have fallen from my eyes.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Fourteen

Yesterday my wife, son, dog and I all piled up on the couch and watched a movie (Dolphin Tail) together. It was without a doubt one of the best times I've ever had. Most people reading this might think "Huh, he's always with his family what's the big deal?", and they'd be right, I am always with my family but yesterday was special. I can't put my finger on it, but it was just great. My wife was on the right end of the couch with my son between us but sitting back in my arm, and the dog was stretched out on my left side, we had a good family movie on and my heart was just contented. Maybe it was because my hyper three year old sat good and still for most of the movie (a first). Maybe it was because I didn't have to worry about turning it off because of bad language or theme. Maybe it was because for the first time in a while I didn't concern myself with anything but the moment we were in. I just relaxed and enjoyed the blessing. I'm welling with tears thinking of how loved I am, and just how great of a memory we made out of something so ordinary. I never thought I'd ever be so dog gone sappy but God has given me more than I ever thought I deserved and I truly treasure my family.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Thirteen

This morning I read some of the book of Acts and was hit up side the head with the obvious. Acts 5:34 Then one in the council stood up, a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law held in respect by all the people, and commanded them to put the apostles outside for a while. 35 And he said to them; "Men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what you intend to do regarding these men. 36 For some time ago Theudas rose up, claiming to be somebody. A number of men, about four hundred, joined him. He was slain and all who obeyed him were scattered and came to nothing. 37 After this man, Judas of Galilee rose up in the days of the census, and drew away many people after him. He also perished, and all who obeyed him were dispersed.38 "And now I say to you, keep away from these men and let them alone; for if this plan or this work is of men, it will come to nothing; 39 but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it- lest you even be found to fight against God.

The man Gamaliel, who taught Paul (Acts 22:3) everything he knew about the law, was right on the button. If Jesus really didn't rise from death giving all who would believe and confess and be baptized in His name eternal life in heaven, Christianity would be dead by now. If all of those who were beaten and martyred for His name's sake had done it in vein, Christianity would just be something to read about in the history books. But, it's obvious that the accounts of the bible are true and accurate because here we are now, almost two thousand years later still fighting the good fight and running the race, handing the baton to the next generation to do the same. It seems like the more people try to stop the spread of the gospel, the more it spreads. If it were untrue in any way, it wouldn't exist, period. You just can't kill the truth!

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Twelve

I'm going to do an experiment. I'm going to close my eyes, open my bible, and point to a scripture. Which ever one I land on, I will type out. I will do this twice and put them together and see what it says. My guess is probably nothing that makes any sense. The reason why I'm doing this is because lots of people look up random scriptures every day and try to apply them to their lives. I'm not saying that the Holy Spirit can't speak to somebody by just opening the bible and reading it, but I think that Satan can too. It might sound a little harsh for me to say that, but I'm pretty sure that Satan knows the bible far better than we do.Anyhow, here goes.
Isaiah 3:24 And so shall it be: Instead of a sweet smell there will be a stench; Instead of a sash, a rope; Instead of a well-set hair; baldness; Instead of a rich robe, a girding of sackcloth; and branding instead of beauty. Psalm 39:6 Surly every man walks about like a shadow; Surly they busy themselves in vain; He heaps up riches, And does not know who will gather them.
This didn't turn out quite the way I thought it would. These two scriptures kind of compliment each other but is that just random, divine, or other. I'll do it again and see.
Jonah 1:8 Then they said to him, "Please tell us! For whose cause is this trouble upon us? What is your occupation? And where do you come from? What is your country? And what people do you come from? Luke 20:38 For He is not the God of the dead but of the living, for all live to Him.
So... This was just random. I guess that what I'm trying to say and prove is that scripture needs to be read, in context with it's self. In other words, read a whole chapter, or at least an entire section of a chapter. Don't leave it up to chance. What if someone looked up Mathew 27:5 Then he threw down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed, and went and hanged himself. Luke 10:37 And he said, "He who showed mercy on him." Then Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise."
Would they be led to hang them self? Who knows? We just can't take the chance. Scripture isn't meant to be picked at like a chicken picks at grain but devoured like a shark swallowing a seal.

The ife and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Eleven

My wife is looking at and reading a sales magazine from a local Christian store. If I had a Christian business I wouldn't sell all of this junk to my fellow Christians, in fact, I probably would go out of business in the first couple of months. I just think that so much of this stuff is nothing more than junky, made in China, crap designed to part Christian people from their hard earned money. How much kingdom work could be done with the money that people spend on junky little trinkets? My guess is millions.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundren Ten

Today, as I was out working in the garden my neighbor's niece (who is staying with him due to his age and health) started talking to me. She made it a point, as always, to share some of her infinite knowledge of everything with me. (If that sounds sarcastic, it was meant to.) Every time I talk to her she makes sure to let me know that she knows more about what I'm doing or talking about than I do. It's getting to the point that when I see her coming, I want to run into the house until she goes into hers but I know that that's not what Jesus would do. So, I do my best to smile and be as nice as I possibly can, the entire time wishing she would just go inside and bother her poor old uncle instead of me.
I hate feeling this way about somebody but I just do. How do people manage to be genuinely loving to people that they just can't stand? It can only be by the direction of the Holy Spirit. I want to be able to be like that. I want to have patience, I want to literally love my neighbor....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Nine

The past couple of days I've been trying to hurry up and get my garden planted so it'll be ready for the rain that's supposed to move in tomorrow night. I'm half way there and off from work tomorrow so I don't think that it'll be a problem but you never know until it's done. I tilled all of the rows where I'm planting yesterday but it reminded me of a scripture today. Luke 9:62 But Jesus said to him, "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God."
Using that tiller was a perfect illustration for this scripture. If I were to have looked back when I was tilling my rows, I would have probably ran over some of my other plants and killed them. Now that I'm a Christian, I have no need to look back to the life I used to live. If I had one foot pointed backward and one forward I would just fall flat on my face. I wouldn't be able to go anywhere, and I certainly wouldn't be able to do anything for the kingdom of God which would make me unfit.
I think that there are a lot of people in that condition at one time or another in their walk. Satan has a great way of tricking people into believing that they can be a follower of Christ and still live exactly like they did before they believed. That couldn't be further from the truth. The main goal of a Christian is to become as much like Christ as possible. How can anyone do that if they are still living the old sinful life that they've always been in? It can't be done. We must put our shoulder to the plow and go forward, not looking back at where we've been but ahead to where we're going.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Eight

I'm having a really difficult trying to write this tonight. The TV is on and seems louder than usual even though it's not. My son is still up because he had a late nap today and he doesn't seem to be able to calm down, and my wife is steadily talking to me. When all of these things come together you get a perfect recipe for an inability to concentrate, at least, tonight anyway.
It's now that I keep thinking Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
This verse is so versatile! No matter what the circumstance or the situation a person finds them self in, this verse can and should be used, so instead of struggling to write or losing my temper and telling everybody to shut up, when they are just doing what they always do, I think I'll just "Be still, and know that I (He) am (is) God.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Seven

Today I got a coworker to help me by hauling some compost for my garden. He brought it here and talked to me for an hour or more. I found out that he had been all over the country and that he had been in the military and been all over Asia as well. He also told me that he was newly sober, he had been so for six months. I told him that I have been clean and sober for almost six years and his jaw dropped. There was a time when mine would have done the same thing. Just thinking about going that long when your freshly dried out seems unfathomable but now I'm looking forward to sobriety for the rest of my life. When your newly sober six days seems like an eternity, let alone six months. He said that he's fighting bouts of depression and that sometimes the urge to drink is strong. Just for a few days but strong none the less. We talked about his family and all kinds of things. But then something terrible happened, when he went to leave he scraped the side of his truck going through the narrow opening of my gate which put a big dent and a bunch of white scratches on it, and he also broke his mirror on the corner of my house. I feel terrible. Here I am asking for help and he was nice enough to give it to me and then this. He said he wasn't mad and that it was only a truck but we'll see tomorrow.
I was really hoping to be able to share Jesus with him and I don't want this or anything else to get in the way. 

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Six

A couple weeks ago I wrote about tithing. More importantly, I wrote about my own dilemma of whether I would tithe and be late on my mortgage and possibly start a snowball of missed bills or not tithe and pay the mortgage on time but live with the guilt that I couldn't or didn't trust God in what He promised in Malachi 3:10 "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this", Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out such a blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it."
I gave my tithe. I just knew that if I did, God would provide a blessing. That blessing came last week in the form of eight hours of over time which was on today's paycheck! I was able to (of course) set aside money for my tithe, catch up all the bills and even pay one a little early. I had enough left over to buy some tomato plants for the garden and I will even be able to fill the gas tank up with some of that liquid gold commonly known as gasoline! God has opened His storehouse and I'm very grateful!
It's really easy to look back and say "I knew He would come through just in the nick of time as always" but when we were going through it and didn't know how or when the blessing would come it was pretty hard to take that leap of faith, but I'm so glad we did.
Now we can breathe easier for a couple of weeks... That is, until we need to take the next leap of faith....

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Five

Today I was out picking a few radishes from our garden and I got to thinking. I've written about some of the things that I've done, had done to me, and some of the feelings that I am burdened with. I don't seem to be able to hide them very well, and really, I don't think that I should. My life is a tremendous work in progress that seems to go in every direction other than the one that I want it to but it's still a huge improvement over the way it was before I opened myself to Jesus. What I want to know is... Do other Christians go through all of these crazy emotions and struggles? All the Christian people I meet seem to have it all together, like they're invincible to the temptations of Satan and that they're just so strong, so sure of everything. Then when I tell them what I'm thinking or going through they just act like it's nothing or like I'm just some kind of weirdo or something and go on back to being perfect Christian people. I don't want to be judgmental but it seems like they just don't want to be bothered with me. Aside from my wife, who I love dearly and have deep respect for, I don't have any Christian friends that I'm really comfortable talking to. There are a few people at my church but our age difference is twenty years or better, and they don't come from the background I come from so it's almost like talking to someone in a foreign language, they can understand a little but the rest is lost in translation.
This walk that I'm on is sometimes rugged, sometimes lonely, and sometimes it just seems downright impassable.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundred Four

I got a letter and a tract today from a woman representing the Watchtower, AKA, Jehovah's Witness. I'm not sure if she randomly picked our address or if she sent it to us because we have a big cross in our yard (her return address is right up the road, so it could be either, or). I read the letter which was very nice, she even offered to help counsel anybody who had any questions.I opened the tract and immediately looked at the back where I saw the Watchtower logo. Needless to say, the tract went into the trash.
Every now and then, we will get a knock at the door and it will be some Watchtower people who are always very nice, but I tell them that I'm not interested. I also see pairs of young Mormon men riding their bikes proselytizing anyone who will listen.
Both of these groups are not biblical groups, they are cults. They have different versions of the bible and the Mormons even have extra books (The book of Mormon & The pearl of great price). The bible says in Revelation 22:18 For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to these things, God will add to them the plagues that are written in this book; 19 and if anyone takes away from the words of this book of prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
That sounds pretty straight forward to me; Don't add to or take away from the bible. If a group has to have their own "version" of the bible, they are lairs, no matter how nice they are and are leading themselves and anybody who joins them straight to hell!
I will give them a compliment though. They are doing something to further what they believe in. They are fearless and relentless in their desire and action to spread and grow what they believe in. They are growing, they are influencing Christians that aren't rooted deeply or who don't know any better, or who are tired of doing nothing and see the kind nature and the motivation and action of these groups.
I don't ever get a knock on the door from any of the several local churches, and sadly I don't ever do any knocking of my own. What happened to people of the church pairing up and going out and doing exactly what these cults are doing? Why do they have such dedication and motivation? I don't quite have any answers to either one of these questions but I do know that if we don't do something we're doing nothing and that just doesn't work.

The life and trials of a growing Christian - Day One Hundren Three

Almost every Tuesday I post something concerning my Tuesday morning bible study and this Tuesday isn't any different. The man who was scheduled to lead us today was ill due to a tick bite and is recovering under a doctors care. The man who ended up leading the study spoke about family and how if a family isn't Christ centered it's bound to be dysfunctional. Someone else spoke up and brought up a scripture. Luke 12: 49 " I came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how distressed I am till it is accomplished! 51 Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division. 52 For from now on five in one house will be divided: three against two, and two against three. 53 Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law."
The gospel is an offense to a lot of people and it's certainly evident in many families. Plenty of people have raised their children in the church yet those children do everything they can to deny and renounce any teaching they've been given. Some people get married as non-believers and one will come to Christ and the other won't. Whatever the scenario, there are always struggles going on in families where some believe and some don't. The non-believers want to call the believers judgmental or hypocritical but I believe that it's because they are, in a lot of cases, living a life of sin and that it's their defense or justification of that sinful lifestyle. We believers want nothing more than to make our loved ones believe in God and that Jesus is His son who died on a cross and rose from the grave insuring all who believe and are baptized eternal life in heaven.
You can't shake someone until they believe, you also can't sit there idly and do nothing. There lays the conflict, whatever we do we're wrong in somebodies eyes. If we keep presenting the gospel of Christ to our loved ones we will, without a doubt, find ourselves on the receiving end of their anger. But, if we don't try to evangelize our families we will certainly anger, or more to the point, let down our Lord.
I guess I know what my options are and that I can only choose to follow the Lord Jesus at any and every cost.