I don't feel like much of a man of God tonight. As I wrote last night, my son is sick (we found out today that it's an ear infection) and he absolutely refuses to take any medicine. Well, now that he's been to the doctor, he has an additional medicine to take, an antibiotic. That's just fantastic! I tried the usual tricks, and of course, none of them worked. I got very angry. I can't get it to sink into his head that he need's to take this stuff, he just fights and fights and spits it out and gets sicker. I feel like the worst father in the world; if I can't even get him to do something as simple as take medicine, whats going to become of him when he gets older? Am I going to be able to have any control over this willful child, or is he going to run over me like a freight train? I firmly believe God's word when He says in Proverbs 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
But, I also know that there's a such a thing as too much discipline. I can't spank him all the time, if I do it'll be worse than not spanking him at all. He is so stubborn, like a little version of me, and I see all of the mistakes I've made coming up ahead of him. I worry so much about his future that I can't even see straight. I see all of the mistakes I'm making, as I'm making them and I can't seem to stop screwing up. I didn't think it was possible to but heads with a three year old like this, at least, not for me. I thought I was going to be super dad, head of the household, master of his domain, but instead, I'm struggling. I have this little boy who is just like me in almost every way and wants to do nothing more than emulate me and I don't want to teach him anything but right. Unfortunately, he is learning my faults and weaknesses as well as my strengths.
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