The life and trials of a growing Christian-Day Fourteen

I recently read something that a friend wrote about forgiveness and it sparked something in me to write this. This isn't easy or fun to write about, but I think it needs to be written. When I was young (about eight) my mother and adopted father split up, and she later married my dad. Although he wasn't blood, he was the only man I will ever refer to as dad. (He passed on when I was twenty one.) While my mother was split up from the adopted father he had weekend visitation. On a couple of those visitations he did some things to me that men aren't supposed to do to one another, and a father certainly isn't supposed to do to the child he professes to love. I'm sure you can figure out what I'm saying without further detail. I went a while without telling anyone and when I did, we went to court, and nothing happened to him. I have lived my life without really giving to much consideration to this, except the occasional day here and there. Some people would say that's the reason why I was such an award winning, stellar person from my teenage years through the time I was thirty one. I don't think so, I just did what I wanted to when I wanted to.
Now, to the order of forgiveness. I haven't been able to bring my self to forgive him. I know that, as a Christian, I am called to forgive him but I just can't yet. He did something that was horrible and didn't even own up to it. It's not just the physical aspect of it, it's the mental, as well. He violated everything. I trusted him, I called him dad and he did that? How could he? Why would he? You don't raise a child and do that to them, it just goes against everything that's supposed to be! Sometimes I think that if  he were to be horribly disfigured or die a gruesome death that it would somehow make me feel better, but I know it wouldn't, nor should it. I need to continue to pray for the ability to forgive this man. It's only with God's help that I can do this.
Father, I confess that I have harbored bitterness and contempt for the man who violated my body and trust. I pray that You can help me to lay this all at Your feet and forgive this man. In Jesus name, AMEN.