The life and trials of a growing Christian-Day Fifteen

I was writing about how this Friday the thirteenth superstition is nothing more than a superstition when my daughter called. My daughter.... My first born, the one that, one day (hopefully about ten years from now), I'll walk down the isle. She's sixteen now and probably about eight hundred miles away, but it feels as if she is on the other side of the planet. When she was a baby I read to her and rocked her to sleep every night. When she was a toddler we played and sang goofy little songs together. Then I lost custody of her but was able to get her every summer and Christmas. I tried a few times to get custody returned to me, but it just didn't work. (All my fault) I even prayed for God to allow me to win but I lost every time we went to court. (He did what was best for my daughter, not me) On her visits we would go fishing, camping, and just hang out at the lake almost every day. We would go visiting to my friends houses in the evenings where I would be a fantastic example of what not to do. (Drinking until all hours or the night.) But she still looked up to me. I even got a DUI with her riding with me. My young impressionable daughter had to watch her father get put in handcuffs and hauled off to jail, but still, she looked up to me. I remember once she asked me to tell her about God and I quickly changed the subject. What a terrible thing for me to do, but I didn't have time for God then. I wish more than anything that I could change things. For a long time I resented her mother for taking her from me but if I look back, with all honesty, she's probably better off for it. She is a straight A student and has been her entire life. Somewhere in her life I think she stopped looking up to me. Our relationship is strained at best. My little girl has turned into a young woman and I've missed it. She doesn't like that I've become a Christian and I don't like that she's an atheist. (Which I feel is my fault) We just butt heads about everything. I really don't want my little girl to go through any of the crap that I have gone through.